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@bisexual-cyborg
see her fabulous

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what a fucking relief to be the one kid in this family without a blue name
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how weāve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented āhe thinks himself to be the senator claudius š¤£ā
I don't know who my intended audience is here, so whoever needs to hear this, I am begging you to learn to participate in conversations that are about things you aren't interested in.
Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.
Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.
It can not always be about your preferred topic.
You are being rude. Yes, even if you are neurodivergent. You can be both autistic and rude.
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.Ā
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He hadĀ āofficialā andĀ āunofficialā mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.Ā
Icon.Ā
donāt forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
RATING: šØ MOSTLY RELIABLE šØ
Many articles make similar claims to those above. However, much of this information circulates without a clear source, and I have struggled to find reputable/high level sources for some of this information. Therefore, keep in mind that some of this may be exaggerated or potentially unreliable.
Obviously, I cannot account for the sexual of history of every human who has ever lived, but evidence does suggest that Victor Hugo had a⦠lively sex life.
From Medium: āSex was so involved in Hugoās daily life that one biographer wrote the following while describing a typical day in Hugoās life:
āIt was not unusual for him to make love to a young prostitute in the morning, an actress before lunch, a courtesan as an aperitif, and then join the also Āindefatigable Juliette for a night of sex.ā
[ā¦] Hugo claimed that on the wedding night, he and his wife had sex nine times.ā
His encoded sex diary is referenced on Wikipedia, but when I found an English translation of the source, I couldnāt find where in it they were sourcing.
From Wikipedia: āHe systematically reported his casual affairs using his own code, as Samuel Pepys did, to make sure they would remain secret.ā
The source is listed as: āHugo, Victor, Choses vues 1870ā1885, p. 529, ISBNĀ 2070361411, pp. 371, 521 (n. 1).ā
Iāve found Choses Vues here in the original French and here translated into English. If anyone can find anything in here about the encoded sex diary, please let me know!
His āofficial mistressā is likely in reference to Juliette Drouet.
From EBSCO: āSince 1833, Hugo had maintained a liaison with a beautiful female actor, Juliette Drouet, who for twelve years followed a cloistered existence relieved only by six-week summer holidays with her lover.ā
His 'unofficial mistressā is likely in reference to LĆ©onie dāAunet Biard.
From The Common Reader: 'Overlapping was a seven-year affair with travel writer and Arctic explorer LĆ©onie dāAunet Biard, whose husband finally brought a police officer to the Paris hotel and caught them in flagrante.ā
I have found articles that circulate the '200ā claim, but none that give a source for the information.
From Medium: 'Not only that but he bedded 200 women in this hotel in just two years.ā
The claim that brothels were closed on the day of his funeral is again circulated frequently without claim. The only sourced part of the claim I can find is a second hand report that sex workers had 'draped their gentials in black crepeā.
From The Guardian: ā[ā¦] when Hugo died the brothels of Paris closed down for a day of mourning, allowing all the cityās sex workers to pay their last respects to a loyal client. Literary critic Edmond de Goncourt claimed a police officer told him that sex workers even draped their genitals in black crepe as a mark of respect.ā
And an estimated 2 million people attended his funeral procession.
From Funeral Conflicts in Nineteenth-Century France: 'Two million people came to see Hugoās body lying in state at the Arc de Triompheā
Heās now been dead for 141 years, although 133 was correct at the time of posting. How slutty those years are⦠I couldnāt say.

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i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"
@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful
@holyknuckled like that?
oh? my god???
yeah, Exactly like that
has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive
times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks
Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for ānot being a vegetableā because they're technically a fruit when:
A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.
B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.
"technically tomatoes are fruits--" THAT MUSHROOM OVER THERE IS MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO A FUCKING SHIH TZU THAN IT IS TO LITERALLY ANY PLANT
@mortimermcmirestinks
IS THAT FANART?
itās a warning
how nolan intended it
How Nolan filmed Oppenheimer
The woke mob has made Santa gay! Mrs Claus has been replaced with a 5'8 twink named Tony Tinsel

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i hate when men complain about womenās body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless
#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbsĀ #aka teethĀ #they are literally a swimming tooth
I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white
wouldnāt that make the shark a
grate white
This post got weird
This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasnāt a destination so much as a jumping off point.
Iāve never been so surprised not to encounter the word āsmoothā in a text post
I love this interaction between them. Minthara is among my favorites when it comes to the banters. I swear that woman only has to look at Gale for a vein to pop on her temple kek.
in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with āitās like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.ā This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. Weād love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isnāt a real guy I can invite to a party.
Ok the last one got me laughing actually
General Lamarque has been dead for 194 slutty, slutty years

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guys not to alarm anyone but i feel like lamarque is ill and fading fast
fuck
Ryan Goslingās career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now heās famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
Iām obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah