Sandy toes and a salty attitude

man I love my OC that I designed I really wish I knew how to draw him

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

This is the worst joke I’ve seen and I am crying

Anybody else noticed how hard it is under capitalism to finish warm beverages before they get cold?

would you still like me even if i experienced emotions

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

I fucking hate the french language. They'll call something shit like "the fatal allure of the dark shimmering mistress" and it's slang for when you stick your dick in a wine bottle and get stuck.

My mom said something about how you have to put your dick in a pencil sharpener beforehand to make it fit.

i have no idea what you're talking about and refuse to look up "bite dans un taille-crayon"

may I please have more context?

Sometimes dads are terrible and should die, and you can console people by offering to rid them of this troublesome parent, but you should be friends with the person before making the offer

how the fuck are we supposed to make friends if not through gestures of patricide?

Unknown. I'll provide updates if I ever figure it out

they call my dick excalibur. because it sat in a lake for a long time . no other reasons