he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@queenangella

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Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.
Consider thirteen:thirty and fifteen:fifty instead. So, rather, it should be twenteen on the model of twenty
Completely agree with twenteen, and it shouldn’t be second but twenth.
Completely agree
with twenteen, and it shouldn’t
be second but twenth.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Bro. (Sexually charged)
nurse: doctor... the patient is flatlining... we dont have nearly enough yuri to sustain them!
doctor: tch... i guess theres no choice...!!
*doctor pulls in nurse for a tender embrace and a beat passes before they kiss passionately*
*pulse starts again*
nurse: i cant believe it...! doctor youve saved yet another patient through your unorthodox methods!
doctor, looking out the window to avoid the nurse's adoring gaze: suppose i have...
doctor, thinking: sigh... will i ever get to approach her not out of obligation but out of ...love...;!
nurse, thinking: i hope she doesnt realize ive been manufacturing the yuri shortage to engineer these kinds of scenarios
moral of the story: the doctor was a woman
im literally always saying this

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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artistsuniversum: “Kathin Marchenko is a textile artist and designer known for her expressive embroidery on delicate tulle fabric.
Using a "painting with thread" technique, she creates portraits, anatomical forms, and ethereal figures that seem to float within wooden hoops, blending craft with fine art.”
Artist: @kathrin_marchenko
#art #embroidery #artist #textileart
[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode
me in the echo chamber: exactlyyy, literallyyyy
if u think abt it i guess bald ppl are the most aerodynamic. i bet if u shot a bald person out of a cannon they wld fly way further than a haired person
which of course is a huge advantage in day to day life
they killed him for this

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i have a favorite tweet of the year already
Translation: pilates??? The asshole who ordered Jesus to be killed???
tags via @spineless-lobster
Top ten vanity plates ever spotted….no question
i dunno i feel like it's more complicated than that
quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.
Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point
we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough
pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

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ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
There's wholesome ships and there's toxic ships, but I'd like to coin 'sodium chloride ships', where the individuals involved are both horrible and dangerous people, but somehow being together renders them surprisingly well-adjusted (if a little salty).
The opposite of this is a 'coke and mentos' dynamic, where the two people are generally chill and likeable but being around each other makes them both wild and chaotic.
Here's the breakdown: