when jesus returns lets crucify him again

so funny how the older u get ur like how the fuck on gods green earth did people used to manage all th- ahhh.. i need one of these wives everybody keeps talking about..

"how was X so successful and productive and achieving?" wife feeding and clothing and cleaning and shopping and parenting for them and also probably booking appointments and personal receptionist work. AND stimulant abuse. and shes supposed to suck you off whenever. id kill him too #feminists

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

Can I be a furry for a sec

I would absolutely fuck the shit out of Espeon

hey enbyfriend you look gnc as fuck today you're literally a monarch 👏 looking good your majesty <3 you are Working It mx. androgyny !! btw can i see your theythem tits

just call me a slur

this shit is everything to me man. i'm gonna fucking give birth to you

It's fucked up that you can contract "good night" to "g'night" just fine but it if you try to do the same for "good luck" it sounds like you're throating the person you're talking to tip-to-base