feelings deep enough to swim in

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

You boxhead, you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten

I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness

He's wound up like a thousand-day clock! One half more turn and there'll be springs and sprockets all over the building. Mr Speaker, give him a valium

Oh, look, it's just Howard being Howard, isn't it, you know? The little desiccated coconut's under pressure and he's attacking anything he can get his hands on

The Opposition could not manage a tart shop

For John Howard to get to any high moral ground he would have to first climb out of the volcanic hole he's dug for himself over the last decade

And my personal favourite:

Scammer: do you have an apple or a windows computer please?

Me: neither, I use Linux.

Scammer: no no no, I asked if you use a apple or a windows

Me: neither

Scammer: what is the sticker? Is it a four boxes or is it an apple with a bite?

Me: ... I don't use EITHER of them. There's a third operating system called Linux. It isn't a PC or a mac. Please tell me you understand

Scammer: do -- do you know what I mean about apple or windows sir?

Me: yes. I'm a software developer. I understand completely. I'm telling you that YOU don't understand. Its called Linux, spelled L-I-N-U-X, type it into google

Scammer:

Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci.

There is much controversy in the art world over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they’re perfectly clear.