Laina Ruff

They say in life you have to take the bitter with the better. Today is heavy on the bitter side.

Yesterday I placed my father into a personal care home.

That sentence hurts. The whole idea is painful. That the man who was an amazing father and brilliant executive and well-loved community leader now needs the kind of full time care I simply can not provide is almost inconceivable.

He has dementia.…

Is it the flu?

“I’ve got the flu.” We’ve all said it at one time or another.

We talk about the flu like it’s something you get for 24 hours. Or for a day or two. We say things like “I was sick with the flu all weekend.” We even say someone had “a touch of the flu”.

Trust me, if you have the flu it’s going to be for a lot more than the weekend and you’ll be a lot more than touched. Slammed over the head maybe.…

I’m Lucky To Be Alive

That sounds like an exaggeration, doesn’t it? But it’s not.

I nearly died. And I’m damn glad I got to the Emergency Room before I did.

I had pneumonia. But not just simple pneumonia, if there even is such a thing. I actually had two different kinds of pneumonia at the same time. Add in an as-yet undiagnosed lung disease that might be COPD and breathing stopped being easy. And then, just to make…

Today is Remembrance Day.

We all probably think we know what that means. We wear a poppy or observe a moment of silence or go to a service somewhere.

But do we really understand?

Do we know what it’s like to strap on a weapon and walk on to a battlefield? To stand shoulder to shoulder with men you’ve barely had a chance to get to know but will never forget. To willingly put your body in the line…

Baby It’s Cold Outside… Or is it?

Kelly Clarkson and John Legend just released a new version of the old Christmas classic “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”

Honestly, I have no idea why.

I love Kelly Clarkson. She’s a balls to the wall singer, writes most of her own stuff and doesn’t let other people’s crap change who she is. She’s unabashedly goofy, unafraid to say what she thinks and she seems to exude love and happiness. From her first…

Oh Canada, We Stand

When I saw that “Oh Canada” was trending on Twitter today I figured someone had either done a really great or a really horrible job of singing the national anthem at a ball game the night before.

Imagine my surprise when I found out what really happened. Andrew Scheer made an ass of himself. Again.

In the House of Commons today there was a discussion about our national anthem. Specifically about…

How many people do you follow?

As of this writing I have 2083 followers on Twitter. I follow 1610.

Now let’s be clear. I don’t know these people. Not really. Out of the 2083 who follow me, there are a few special people I consider friends. There are probably three or four dozen who I interact with on a regular basis. There’s maybe another hundred or so who I notice interacting with me from time to time, usually as part of a larger thread. The rest? I have no idea.

I also don’t really know the 1610 who I follow back. I could go to the page for each one of them every day to see what they are up to but then I’d never do anything else. Besides, some of them don’t post regularly so there’s nothing to see.

So here’s the question. What does it all mean?

Very existential of me, right? Especially for a late summer Sunday.

Honestly, I never expected to have this many people follow me. I figured a couple of hundred at best. I didn’t go looking for followers. I don’t retweet everything everyone posts. I don’t post naked boobs (which seems to draw followers like bees to bright flowers) and I don’t write political sarcasm (which draws snarky followers like snarky bees to snarky bright flowers).

But the followers just kept coming. Some came because I followed along on Twitter threads like #AbsWednesday or #FollowFriday and some because I engaged with the #WritingCommunity. Others just showed up randomly. Most of the time you don’t really know why your follower numbers climb. Or fall, for that matter. The Twitter algorithms can be crazy and impossible to decipher.

What I do know is that of all the two thousand plus people who follow me, most of them will never trade tweets with me. Fewer still will actually realize I’m a real writer and go to Amazon to check out my books. Even less will actually buy those books.

Despite that, everyone recommends that writers (especially those who self-publish like me) keep a social media presence. We’re supposed to write books and at the same time, write tweets that go viral and impress the world.

Oh, and we’re supposed to blog. About our writing. And about our posting.

Are you exhausted yet? I know I am.

The other problem is that chasing followers can become addicting. I was thrilled to get to a thousand followers and then immediately wondered how long it would take to get another thousand. It becomes it’s own activity. It’s own reward.

We get obsessed by those numbers. By those “like” buttons and how many people clicked them. We try to think of things to post that will draw those anonymous eyeballs to our pages. We get side-tracked by long winding threads that are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

So what’s the point, you ask?

Beats the crap out of me.

I guess right now it’s to help me sell a couple of books since I just published “Marked Hearts: Book One”.

But in general I think I keep going back to Twitter in particular because it makes me laugh. People there, especially those in the #WritingCommunity, are incredibly supportive. Every time I’ve asked a question they probably think is silly, they answer it anyway. They take my angst seriously and help me get and stay motivated. They cheer me up. They offer suggestions. They are smart and cleverly funny. They gently nudge me in the right direction. They are relentlessly positive.

And those are good enough reasons for me to keep tweeting and connecting.

So if you ever connected with me on Twitter or Instagram or wherever, then thank you. Even if you were an ass about it, it’s still a connection and that matters. But for those of you who helped and were cheerleaders and made my life better, thank you.

Oh, and by the way. Did you notice that I just snuck another book ad in?

Clever, ain’t I?

To Print or Not To Print

When I first started with this self-publishing thing I decided I would only release my work in e-book format.

I’m not actually sure what the final factor was in making this decision but it just seemed to make sense. I’d read a ton of stuff telling me that print books were a dying media. No one wanted them anymore, they all said. So I listened.

In addition, I love reading on my phone or tablet. I…

Write A Blog or Blog About Writing

I’ve been horrible at posting on this blog regularly. Lately I just haven’t been able to think up ideas to write about. I’ve been doing actual writing (yay me!) and a ton of editing (which sucks!) but there just hasn’t been the time or will to blog.

So stupid me goes to the internet for answers. What to I write about on my blog, I ask stupidly. And guess what it tells me?

To blog about writing.…

I’m wading into the fray, people. So brace yourselves.

First of all let me say that I’m not one of those people who thinks we should remove every gun from the planet. I don’t own one and I don’t want to but I recognize that this world is such that guns exist and people want to own them.

But the kind of weapons that seem to be showing up everywhere are not just guns. They are weapons of war.

No…

Tell Me I’m Pretty

A complete stranger told me I was pretty today.

I was standing in line at the checkout in the grocery store and the cashier and I were idly chatting about something I can’t even remember now. Just one of those inconsequential conversations you have, you know?

Anyway, the woman in line behind me was obviously listening. Somewhere along the way I made a comment about how I might get better access…

I watched the Tony Awards last night. As many of you know, a woman named Ali Stroker won a Tony for her performance in the revival of Oklahoma.

Most of you also know she’s in a wheelchair.

There’s a lot of news today about how she’s the first actor in a wheelchair to win a Tony. Which, I guess, is awesome.

It also sucks.

Because there are a lot of talented people out there who just happen to have…