A Two-Headed Lion

I forget there’s a punchline every time. Absolutely delighted.

just because you havent seen me post about The Character in a while doesn't mean i'm any less insane about them in private

i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

having being anti death penalty as one of my core beliefs is fun because it really makes me realize how even progressive people want soooooo badly for there to be a category of people they can kill. I'm sorry but "group of people okay to kill" does not exist.

Lethal injection is just some pseudoscientific bullshit made up by people who want the death penalty to remain while understanding that people hate being confronted with death and will turn on it given time. If it was about ensuring a quick reliable death the US would be using the guillotine, but then people would realise how fucked up it is and WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.

RIP Alex Jones who popped like a balloon in his car.

literally announced on infowars. infowars made by alex jones. this is reputable due to the creator being the subject of it. farewell alex jones

RIP Alex Jones