Perfectly Imperfect

It's funny, but I find my use of Tumblr has come full circle over the years.

I started as a lurker, only able to connect directly through Asks open to Anons, speaking through the visage of a dark sunglasses-wearing generic icon. And it was fine, I came to slowly understand the thrill of online fandom and got more comfortable with the idea of putting my Gen X, internet-shy self out there for all to see (stomping down the voice that always whispers "noooo they're all going to laugh at youuuuu"). And eventually I joined, finally too frustrated by my lurker status, wanting to leave tag novels, respond with gifs, and finally reblog and lift up the fic writers I had followed here to this strange part of the internet where anonymity of the Tumblr URL was in a curious way far more revealing of ourselves, our inner beautiful oddities, than any site where we presented what the world wanted, hiding ourselves under pretend people wearing our real names.

I exploded onto Tumblr, writing meta, exuberantly live blogging and flailing and wholeheartedly participating in a full-on joy of community in a way I had never done before. The media we shared was, I have come to realize, almost irrelevant compared to the pure outpouring of joy and togetherness it fostered. I got to know the fic writers I had loved so dearly, became friends with artists whose talent fair took my breath away, I garnered followers in a number that boggled my mind (many still remain, now inactive ghosts and artifacts of a fandom long diminished), and I travelled and met these wonderful people who had become in many ways closer friends than those in my real world. You were (and still are) all SO IMPORTANT TO ME.

But shows end and our love of media is fickle, fandoms fade and honestly I barely think of the show that was the centre of it all at all anymore. So my Tumblr become smaller and more intimate. My dash more eclectic and sporadic. My real world changed and the time I had to spend online shrank. My direct interactions with long time mutuals and friends trickled to a halt, with a few dear exceptions.

But the importance of this site is undiminished and every mutual and friend of old still creates a flash of warmth and affection with every post that crosses my dash. I am still here. I still love you. I cherish your outpourings of enthusiasm for new passions, both fleeting and stalwart. This place, as I navigate the changes in my life through my fifties, has become this stable place of safety. My refuge. My photo album of people I have loved. A place in a crazy world where a strange and beautiful innocence lingers like nowhere else on the internet.

I have, in a strange way, become a lurker again. But now it is more like sitting in a rocking chair on a porch in a well-tended garden watching friends tend their gardens, children play, and artists create. I experience it passively, enjoying its evolution, and I am so very thankful. Thankful to everyone with whom I have ever shared even a few words, for you have made my life richer with every interaction, and thankful for this site which, wonky and slightly broken and always a little in danger of falling, continues to be the very best place to be ourselves on the internet.

This is my love letter to Tumblr. Collectively you make my world a brighter place.

But -- I hear you on this post. I am this post in so many ways. And It's funny, isn't it? That fandoms come and go, and friendships that were dear and close sometimes seem like a distant memory. And getting older does take you away when life seeps in and begins to really take priority. But there's something this place that will always have your heart. and my heart. and for those of us who have been around forever. And, ha, 2012 isn't forever ago, but it feels it some ways. And I miss it sometimes, though maybe not really.

Idk. But yeah - much love back at you. And much love paid forward as well.

And to those of you just discovering this place, I hope your time here is as wonderful and insane as it's been for us.

This is a beautiful note, Sam, and I'm glad to share this space with you. <3

Henry the Fifth

- ALWAYS encourage others to do their best.

- NEVER talk about people behind their back.

Antony and Cleopatra

- ALWAYS check your produce for pests. [They liked this one so much made a rap about it.]

- NEVER count your chickens before they hatch.

Hamlet

- ALWAYS act decisively

- NEVER tell your girlfriend to go to a convent and become a nun [Oh boy they REALLY liked this one]

Romeo and Juliet

- ALWAYS collect all the important information before making an important decision

- NEVER bite your thumb at us, sir. [They enacted this scene in the original language a lot, except they swapped every “sir” for “bro.”]

The Merchant of Venice

- ALWAYS pay your debts.

- NEVER judge based on appearances, because “all that glisters is not gold.”

The Tempest

- ALWAYS try to forgive others.

- NEVER be a colonizer. [Yes, a middle schooler said this]

Midsummer Night’s Dream

- ALWAYS stay on forest trails

- NEVER fall in love with an ass. [They were excited about this one for obvious reasons.]

Twelfth Night

- ALWAYS stay in touch with those important to us

- NEVER read other people’s mail

Macbeth

- ALWAYS wash your hands. [One of the girls performed Lady Macbeth’s entire Out Damn Spot monologue at the end of the semester]

me, an elder fandom veteran, suddenly having anne rice flashbacks:

no.

NO.

starting to rock back and fourth.

you do not understand.

you were born into an age of peace. i was there Gandalf. i was there three thousand years ago. i remember the cease and desists. i remember authors hunting fanfic writers for sport. i remember when every fic opened with a disclaimer because we genuinely thought it might protect us.

we do not charge money for the copyrighted gay wizard stories.

do not tempt fate youngling.

step away from the paywall.

that is how you summon the ancient evils.

We're having our turn in the heat wave and reports from the National Mall are brutal already this week. That screenshot is today's forecast (courtesy of the Capital Weather Gang) and tomorrow and Saturday are confidently going to be worse than this is.

The national Mall has no shade on the grass and you will be exposed to the sun constantly while also experiencing extremely high humidity. You will not be allowed a bag over a certain size to enter the mall and it has to be clear. You cannot have an insulated water bottle, it has to be clear. Reports are that there are two entrances to the area so you'll have to wait in line to even get in. I cannot find a number on how many cooling stations there are, except that it's "few" to "none" depending on what accounts I read online. Vendors are allegedly charging more than the posted prices and seem to be unprepared for actual crowds - these are the official vendors not the scam food trucks that park all around the edges of the mall. And that's the extent of the planning done because it was not a priority to make sure attendees don't pass out.

My local friends and I have reached a consensus that tourists are going to get extremely sick and none of us know what the EMT response or planning is on the mall this year. People are going to die.

This is a spot from an italian estate agency (we are governed by the right-wing party)

The woman says "Ridiculous..."

The old lady is not in her home. She is at work. She's meant to be what in Italian is called "la portinaia", aka a cross between a doorwoman and cleaner of a residential building. She's in her small "office" space, at the entrance of the building, from where she can survey the coming and goings of the inhabitants. It's a job that has mostly disappeared, but is culturally very clear to us as having the connotation of "potentially gossipy, one-million-percent judgmental woman who sees everything that goes on in the apartment complex, knows everyone and their secrets, and has Strong Opinions™️".