I'll Just Take The Window

is this that pokemon that wears its mother's skull

Went outside and saw a bat flying around. Then i saw a toad in the yard. Straight up like a witch’s brew out there . Stay safe

Reblog to put candy in your followers halloween buckets :)

it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.

"You're too young to remember this, but there used to be so many insects outside that you would have to clean them off the windshield after a long car ride" is the kind of sentence that would have been in a cheesy scifi short story earlier in my life, perhaps submitted to a literary magazine and accepted to show support for its environmentalist message - now it's something I've said in earnest.

Sometimes you really need a good personality on your staff.

When I say purity culture has no endpoint, what I mean is that they will never run out of people to cut down. If porn was made illegal and all of the perverts were run out of the country, the jesus freaks would immediately turn on each other. They require an enemy to function, and will create one of their friends if need be.

"When the bounty system calls for the ears of evil people, well, most people have a fucking ear." —Porpentine

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

Did JJ Abrams write that?

the man who sleeps with a machete under his pillow is a fool every night except one

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

skillet issue

worst part of the human body is it can never just have one problem. ohh youre tired? well we might as well be nausous about it. legs hurt? you can take a headache buy one get one free. these are the worst deals of my life.

And again they didn’t even have to do this, the audience absolutely would have accepted a shot of big bird throwing followed by a shot of cookie catching, but they did it anyway, for love of the game

i need a bone crushing hug, an orgasm that'll make me see god, and $12,000

HERE IT IS!!!

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

‘Vagina-owners’

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.