I am in your bottom fridge drawer

a customer today looked at me, said “y’know? i think you’ll appreciate this,” and pulled his shirt down to show me his supernatural tattoo. calling me a slur would’ve been easier

oh i feel so low… if there was only a tutorial for a bunny like me to learn how to surreptitiously stretch within reach of kisses

I’m functioning. But like… in a haunted house kind of way.

Having been Very Online in the mid 1990s is rough because half of your formative influences are like "yeah, this Flash video engages in pop culture deconstruction that's strikingly topical even thirty years later and did things to my vocabulary that persist to this day, and I can literally never recommend it to anyone because its core premise is a level of homophobic ordinarily observed only under laboratory conditions".

I’m putting estrogen in the jet exhaust to crop dust the world with femtrails

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

I love thinking about “lost episode” creepypastas from a production pipeline POV. I wanna be the guy who gets handed a script about a main character brutally dying with no actual plot and is like “Yeah sure. Greenlighted.”