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@tradingtruthsforlies
The experience of reading classic literature really is just. Pages upon pages of deeply moving texts that make you reflect on life and the nature of humanity which is then quickly followed by the author listing every racial slur they know in alphabetical order
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Me logging in to tumblr.com
being anti-divorce is so fucking bonkers to me like yeah i think you're morally obligated to stay with some shithead who you hate forever. this is a normal and healthy thing to believe. let's have kids together and force them to grow up being raised by two people who hate each other. yeah this might fuck them up mentally during the most formative years of their life but it's the morally righteous thing to do. if there's one thing god loves it's traumatized children. i'm getting into heaven for sure
THE O.C. | S01E01 "Premiere"
it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that
my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position
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the best part of the princess bride is how it says that love is the number one motivation in life but! a close number two is spite.
"What are men compared to rocks and mountains?"
Pride & Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright
why does anxiety love the nighttime
Parks and Recreation – 4.10: Citizen Knope
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It is amazing to me how many people in comics or shows discover a superhero's secret identity and then REVEAL it! Like???
If I found out my nice neighbor who helped me jumpstart my car at the god awful hour of 5am was Superman? NOBODY'S GETTING SHIT FROM ME I KNOW NOTHING!
a) bro can shoot lazer eyes
b) bro is minding his own business, I can do the same
c) The moment I start blabbing I get involved and I DO NOT want to be involved with the day to day life of a fuckin superhero. So I don't know shit, okay?
My lawyer's some vigilante. Sounds like a conflict of interest but what do I look like? A cop? My trash collector is a superhero? Anyway, thanks buddy, have a great one, say hi to the kids for me. I watched my waiter at McDonalds absolutely throw hands with a supervillain. That's crazy, anyway here's a 30% tip in cash. Good luck with those student loans.
Like I am not getting involved with ANYYYYY of that. Uh uh, no way, I don't see shit. I am just trying to make it to the end of the day without being kidnapped, held hostage, tortured, or interrogated and the best way to do that is keep. My. Damn. Mouth. Shut.
13 Going On 30 (2004) dir. Gary Winick
in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.
i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.
important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".
The Mummy dir. Stephen Sommers | 1999
Being not a teenager on this app feels exactly like this fr
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no, i don’t watch that show, but i do follow its developments extensively via tumblr
