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@justaradioohost
I saw this reference on Pinterest (credit in the image!) and had to give it a go!
The idea of Lucifer trying to find ways to help the hotel in s1 has been rattling around in my head and this reference was *it*.
(Shameless self plug!)
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time to post my favorite far side comic of all time
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!
Let’s see what you can do bagel
i do im celebrating my dogs birthday
shes turning 2
I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday
celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone
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this comment made me take psychic damage
Not all dogs have jobs and I think they should get to wear little vests too
happy pitt season 2 day i hope you all have a beautiful day content in the knowledge that whatever happens to you today the staff of the ptmc emergency department are absolutely doing worse than you at any given moment ❤️
happy first day of sabbatical to michael robinavitch please wear a helmet king ❤️
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I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.
So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.
OP, if she did that much analysis that she remembers exact turns of phrases, she liked your book and would like to know you
im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man
Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.
From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.
Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.
Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!
Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?
Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!
Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!
Mulan: Look-
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!
[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]
Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.
Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.
Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.
Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?
Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.
Shang: are women better at fighting than us.
Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.
Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.
Chien Po: Real shortage of men.
Ling: Lots of women, though.
Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.
Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.
Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.
Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?
Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.
Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?
Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?
BONUS:
Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].
Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.
Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.
oh goodness! oh dear!! oh no!!!
Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives
Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in
shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker
All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat
im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife
But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away
just shot a load in his wife
You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.
Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son
The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast
your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy
World Heritage Post
Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. You’re an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!
Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be called an American! You don’t even have the right to call yourself a MAN!
I don’t call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck
happy veterans day
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HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm
WHEN do you ever feel that
the worms yearn for escape
The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...
@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?
After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."
So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.
awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍
oh GOOD tags:
#exact same thing happened to me after my hysterectomy #my single remaining ovary is just wandering around in there now. we call him odysseus #we dont know where he is
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
This is Peak Yuri media and I hope my beautiful feral daughters love each other forever
