when you're at the humiliation ritual competition and then niall kennedy shows up and invites the guy he frequented chemsex parties with, the girl he went to college with who he kept asking for money to pay off his fuck ups in adulthood, the ex who he got pregnant and cheated on a bunch of times, to his wedding with the guy his brother beat half to death and put in coma in college, and then said brother shows up at said wedding so they can kill each other

I love you Half Man I love you Niall Kennedy I love you Ruben Pallister I am so happy you killed each other death I hope you kill and torture each other in hell forever and EVER ❤️

The last thing Niall heard before dying was Ruben telling him that he loves him.

when you show up to the fucked up yearning competition but hannibal lecter baby trapping his patient with an adult and niall kennedy asking to be called daddy while fucking a younger version of himself pretending to be ruben are already there

"characters with zero sexual experience invent bdsm from first principles" is truly one of the best genres of fic

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

kind of insanely hot that richard gadd wrote a story about a little doe-eyed guy being held in a literal and figurative chokehold by a bigger more masculine man who calls him "bambi" and jamie bell was like this is awesome i want to be bambi but i want you to be my ruben and because of this richard gadd transformed his whole body. to embody ruben. so that hed look as big as possible, and jamie would look as little as possible next to him, and their characters would be as physically different as possible... just an undeniably sexy thing to have happened no matter how you spin it