almost home
occasionally subtle
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Monterey Bay Aquarium
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON

Product Placement
Peter Solarz

if i look back, i am lost
NASA

#extradirty
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER
Keni

pixel skylines
trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@jostenneils

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS
Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will
"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".
how shane and ilya are sitting at their daughter's preschool after she got put in time out for saying "hello gay boy" (ilya has used this greeting to piss shane off for years and did Not know she could repeat it)

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manifesting for everyone to have a very lesbian summer
hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"
double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."
they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."
"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"
when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.
they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"
the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.
Oooh can we also gaslight the public the other way around? They get caught, maybe fanmail or whatever, and deny it. And then they keep getting caught (because they’re no longer trying to be careful at all) and they keep denying it.
Pictures of them kissing are all over the internet and Ilya just responds with the gif of him kissing Shane’s helmet at All Stars and “Guess this was an 'intimate moment', too. 🙄🙄🙄”
They’re filmed leaving an event together and Shane’s asked about it in an interview and looks really convincingly confused, saying “Yes, I left at the same time as he did. The event ended. Everyone was leaving.”
Pictures leak from their wedding with them exchanging vows, and the statement the next day says “Ilya Rozanov and I attended a charity event last weekend where we had a polite conversation. These pictures have been taken out of context.”
Someone releases some government forms and it shows they live together, and they just straight up say the images are doctored.
The public gets really convinced that these two are just friends who are repeatedly caught in confusing situations. So when they’re out in public and they see Shane and Ilya grinding up on each other, they’re like “Huh. There must be another explanation for this.”
My Cliff Marleau truth is I think that him and Ilya got absolutely plastered after the 2014 cup win, I mean black out wasted, and they're both riding the high of winning the fucking cup and they're at their like sixth club of the night and Cliff and Ilya kind of end up grinding up against the same girl - Cliff likes dark hair, Ilya likes freckles, in this case their tastes overlap - and it's wild and awesome haha Roz is fucking crazy man. Eventually Ilya leaves for a smoke and Cliff stumbles after him for some fresh air and he ends up bumming a fag from Ilya and cliff just can't stop grinning and okay yeah he's a little chubbed up, that chick was hot and also oh yeah THEY WON THE FUCKING CUP!!!! Anyway, Ilya notices Cliff's situation and does this exaggerated little eyebrow thing that makes Cliff laugh and shrug. And then Ilya is blowing smoke and leaning over and saying "need help with your little problem" and Cliff says "excuse you it's a plenty big problem" and Ilya goes "yeah? You gonna show me how big?" And Cliff is laughing and shaking his head - seriously, Rozzy is a fucking riot - and he's slapping a smirking Ilya on the shoulder and going back into the club to see if he can get another drink.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that years down the line, Cliff Marleau's singular unscrambled neuron is going to fire and he is going to wake up from a dead sleep because Holy fuck Ilya Rozanov 100% offered to blow him that one time and, if recent events are of any indication, he was serious about it!!!
my specialty is liking the same movies that 50-year-old dads like but in a way that would instantly send those dads into cardiac arrest if they heard me talk about them

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bitchy shane i would die for you
don't be mean to yourself that's you
you live there
you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life
hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

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My hope for whoever is reading this is that your life starts making sense and coming together. I hope the good days are right around the corner for you.
Ilya is soooo charmed