CAST

The Nepo Baby as Daphne Blake: the director has known the nepo baby their whole life. their parents are well-connected in hollywood, and the director has made some pretty lucrative (and potentially career-ending) business decisions with them. not that the nepo baby would know! the director is just doing their parents a favor, hoping they'll forgive him for their latest deal going sour.

The Up-and-Comer as Fred Jones: the director may be attached to the role of fred jones, but there is no one more deserving of the torch than the up-and-comer. there is something about them that he finds kinship in, and the director is hoping to ride the wave of fame that is undoubtedly coming the up-and-comer's way.

The Burnout as Shaggy Rogers: it would be hypocritical of the director to see the burnout's reputation as too difficult to work with. neither professional is a stranger to controversy, and the director is hoping that the public's mixed feelings will drum up some free pr. it's almost a bonus that the burnout has a questionable past - then any reported "incidents on set" would be out of his way.

The Child Star as Velma Dinkley: the director watched the child star grow up firsthand. as a collaborator on their very first set, the director has always been proud of the work they've been doing. their innocence is something he has always strived to protect, but now that they're getting older it's becoming trickier to avoid them discovering he may not be the man they thought he was.

The Gay Icon as Marcie Hotdog Water Fleach: when the gay icon auditioned for daphne, it was clear to the director that they needed to be in a role they could blossom in. during screenwriting reworks and the audition process, the gay icon and the director worked closely on providing an authentic lens to a character he expected to become a fan favorite.

The Comedian as Sheriff Stone: the comedian has more than done their time for the perceived social slights that they've committed; determined to rehab their image, the director insisted that they audition. after all, if he's able to successfully turn the comedian back into being a household name, they have to return the favor if the tide turns on him!

The Influencer as Local Television Personality: the director was not looking forward to working with the influencer. like aging stars before him, he thinks people like the influencer don't understand the true art in hollywood and haven't got what it takes. however, it seems that if he wants to make this show, he's got to work with them. begrudgingly, he's incorporating them - however, he's hoping their inexperience will get them recast at the series pickup!

The Former Heartthrob as Mayor Jones: the director and the former heartthrob have decades of history behind them. their careers may first have connected through music or one of his many on-screen endeavors up into the early 2000s, but the director has shown to have more longevity. in a last-ditch attempt to revive the former heartthrob's career and rebrand as a dynamic duo, he insisted this casting was not debatable.

The Voice as Thorn: though respected in the studio, no one has taken the voice up on their offer to participate in acting projects - until now. the director had no idea that the voice would be auditioning, and when the studio announced their casting he worried their previous relationship would spoil the process. fearing they'd get swept back into things, the director has been trying to discreetly keep their distance.

CREW

The Unyielding Artist is The Head Writer: the director, if he had his way, would be the head of everything. it is clear that the unyielding artist was hired to keep him in check, and they've been doing that (much to his chagrin). there is on-set chatter of the fight these two had over the reveal in the pilot script. the tension between them is palpable, and many in their vicinity are just waiting for things to boil over.

The (Barely) Living Legend is The Stunt Coordinator: the director and the (barely) living legend have worked together plenty of times, so it only made sense that the director offer a job in their time of need. it's not at all that the director heard this could be the (barely) living legend's last hoorah - and when stars die, people love to come out and see their latest and greatest in their honor. he doesn't know as much as he lets on, but he's an actor - he can sell it like he does.