parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

Janaina Medeiros
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies

Origami Around

Love Begins

Discoholic 🪩
Sweet Seals For You, Always

@theartofmadeline
todays bird
DEAR READER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open


ellievsbear
RMH
Keni
Today's Document
Mike Driver
Monterey Bay Aquarium
taylor price
trying on a metaphor

seen from T1

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@trashcangimmick
parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Appropriate way for girls feel about firing a mounted heavy machine gun. This is the ideal girl activity
"You will often be subjected to uncomfortable situations in public and you should learn to navigate that" and "if you play your music out loud in a public hike then the other hikers should be allowed to hunt you for sport" are two sentiments that can and should co-exist
the human body when you use it and exist in it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“America is a money printer that runs on blood”
Spotted in Boston, Massachusetts
Oh, i remember this! No truck fucking, but also hard to explain...?
Basically, a lot of truckers feel VERY attached to their trucks, to the point where it's common for truckers to refer to them as their "first baby".
So, knowing this, this trucker's wife organised a photoshoot where her husband's "first baby" got to meet his "second baby". Kind of like those pregnancy photoshoots with dogs?
He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???
Ohhhh, the truck is the big brother :)
Like showing your baby bump to the family pet 🥺
High fashion Bleach by Deserted In Urban
@gallusrostromegalus Dunno if you've seen this already!

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Quetzalcoatlus northropi and Xiphactinus, a commission for @velvetladybird
(penny in the last image for scale)
me after ants find me asleep at the picnic
Misread a label that actually said "98% Naturally Derived, Cruelty Free" as "98% Cruelty Free". For a second I was like ... so this shower gel was made with 2% cruelty? Is that good? How does one even measure that?🤔
Shower gel can have little a cruelty, as a treat
first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go
Magnus Archives fan I see
THIS IS SO FUNNY I'M SORRY

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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im in the bathroom listening to the following conversation between my roommate and my cat in the hallway outside trying to stifle my laughter.
roommate: is there a problem?
cat: RAH!
roommate: oh no, is the door shut? did charlie lock you out of the bathroom?
cat: mweh...
roommate: well you see, i could fix that problem for you—
cat: MYEH!
roommate: —but due to social rules that you probably couldn't understand even if i explained them,
cat: gWAAH... mow..
roommate: yeah, dude, i hear you, but it's not gonna happen.
cat: MRRRR..!
roommate: i know i have opposable thumbs, but my hands are tied, thumbs and all. i'm sorry, i wish it didn't have to be this way.
[sound of roommate's door closing, followed by desperate scrabbling claws on the bathroom door]