[as if this is not a normal and natural human thing to want] yeah i just really want to connect with people for some reason. Like some weird loser freak
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shane is known to have the bitchiest RBF in the league, and the only person he can’t help but look with the loveliest expression is his husband and it doesn’t matter where, the moment he looks at ilya rozanov he will have a gentle smile and heart eyes on his face. but as soon as he looks other way the rbf is back instantly and it makes some people feel bad if they’re in the vicinity of that coldly expression.
i’m so fucking triggered by the constant casual ai use i feel like a crazy person and i can’t wait to move out of here. my stepmom and neighbor are trying to decide what size shirts to order for themselves and asked chatgpt only for it to tell them “small if you want it to fit normally, medium for slightly loose, and large for oversized or if you plan to tie it.” bitch i could have told you that. THATS HOW SIZES WORK
first day of pride month but troy and Shane are staring each other down in the locker room sooooo hard bc he accidentally triggered shanes pgsd (post gaytroy stress disorder) ((happy pride hollander)) ((what the FUCK is that supposed to mean.)) ((YOU HAVE A HUSBAND??))
it's june and the centaurs are preparing for the stanley cup finals series
ilya walks in on the first yelling "listen up! it's pride month, bitches!" while Born This Way plays from his bluetooth speaker he brought specifically so he could make this entrance
he's got a whole playlist called "Born this GAY" that he blasts in the locker room and if anyone complains it's Homophobia
on day 3 wyatt points out that ilya isn't the only queer player so he shouldn't get exclusive pride month aux rights. ilya is mad at this good point
he says okay fine, all queer centaurs can have their turn with the aux. gay music not required but Highly encouraged
troy's turn is next and he was just going to put on his usual edm but harris convinced him to make a pride playlist (in which he mostly told troy which songs he should put on it)
artists include fabian salah and sam smith
luca's playlist is called Gay 4 the Cens and is mostly queer pop like chappell roan, mika, troye sivan, billie eilish
shane doesn't usually take turns with the aux but ilya insisted
another day at practice and dykstra asks "hey where's the music?" and bood says "oh yeah who has the aux today?"
"it's shane's day and he has opted for peace and quiet. no one is allowed to be mean to my husband. we all know this is homophobic. plus, you should all be thanking me because his first idea was to play white noise"
shane truly does prefer a music-less locker room, but he's self-conscious after the half-hearted grumbles and complaints
as the series continues, ilya's playlist keeps becoming longer and longer, he's got a bunch of 80s club hits and contemporary queer pop. bicycle by queen, obvi
eventually we've rotated through and it's shane's turn again
"i'll only go on another practice day. i don't want to ruin the pre-game vibe. not with the cup on the line"
he comes in with a well-researched not-at-all-hype playlist of iconic queer women: brandi carlile, k.d. lang, tegan and sara, etc
and it's still not really the locker room vibe but he worked so hard on it and several of these are iconic canadians as well and he's pleased with himself
ilya thinks it's adorable how much effort he put into it
and the rest of the team is a good sport about it, like they are with dykstra and his country music. everyone gets their turn and not everything is everyone's cup of tea. but shane is pleased to show off his pride month playlist <3
the series goes all the way to game 7, and ilya has compiled all the team's favorites from all their playlists and the stakes are so high but this team supports each other so well and they are hyped up and they can DO this
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Post TLG, Shane and Ilya get weird questions and attention of people saying they don't "look" gay and questioning their identities. In retaliation, Harris starts a TikTok trend. It's pretty simple: he goes up to a (gay) player, says "wait, you're gay? But you don't look gay 🤨," and they do something in response. Luca looks bewildered at the camera for a moment before playing Lady Gaga from his phone and doing little dance moves with his hands. Harris catches Troy for the video as he's putting on his winter clothes to leave the rink, so he responds by flicking the tail of his scarf dramatically over one shoulder and silently strutting away while Harris cracks up behind the camera. Shane gives the camera his flattest, most unamused stare before giving a textbook z-snap and lookjng back at his phone. Ilya instantly falls into a perfect death drop on the ice with one skate in the air
I know there’s a lot of Shane and Ilya PDA jokes in fics because they’re our chosen children, but Harris and Troy are (canonically!) the ones who aren’t holding back. Troy has only had one secret relationship with a douchebag. Harris is very proud to be gay and dating a hot hockey player. They’re like the perfect storm for PDA
I could see Shane preparing to stay an arms length away from Ilya at practice but then he goes to Harris’s office to do some social media intro videos and Troy’s there fully straddling Harris’s lap while they make out. Shane’s standing in the doorway stunned like “THAT’S ALLOWED???”
Yes!!! I know people like to have fun in fics but like… the couple the Cens are most likely to catch making out (or worse 👀) in the locker room are NOT Hollanov 😅🤷🏻♀️
And after everything they’ve probably seen Troy and Harris do, the guys totally won’t bat an eye at Shane and Ilya doing anything 🤣 (I also really love the idea of Shane learning from those two that PDA is okay with the team lmao)
The first time Shane and Ilya go to Ottawa pride, Shane doesn't really want to. But Harris has been talking about how its one of his favorite days for weeks and Ilya lights up like a little kid every time it comes up, so Shane is going.
So is Troy, who seems equally enthusiastic, so at least Shane isn't alone.
But he still worries when he sees Ilya all decked out in a rainbow tank top that has to be at least a size too small. He glances down at his own outfit, something he'd wear any other day, and asks,
"should I change?"
Ilya cocks his head and goes "do you want to?"
And Shane doesn't have to answer he very clearly does not want to.
"I just worry that-"
"that people will not know you are gay? I think I can help with that." Ilya smirks and grabs Shane's ass. Shane shoves him away but he's smiling.
They meet Harris and Troy in a parking garage a few blocks from the parade and Shane comes close to laughing because Harris is wearing a flag as a cape and Troy is wearing jeans and a centaurs t shirt.
"see?" Ilya says "you can wear whatever"
"I actually have something for you," Harris says, and hands both Shane and Troy a baseball cap with the terrible centaurs pride logo.
"they were a limited run and they didn't sell well," he explains. Shane gets why. But he likes the hat. It feels manageable.
The parade still doesn't quite feel manageable. He can already hear the crowd, and he knows, just KNOWS that in just a few minutes, for better or worse, all of their attention is going to be directed at HIM. That's where it always ends up.
"Shane?" He hadn't realized he was staring off into space until Ilya brings him back to earth. "We do not have to go"
"you really want to," Shane says.
"yes," Ilya shrugs, "but if you turn this around," he starts to turn Shane's baseball cap backwards, "I won't be able to resist taking you home and fucking you."
"Ilya! This is what does it for you?"
"You do it for me, Hollander"
Shane turns the cap backwards and grabs Ilya's hand. "Let's go see a parade"
"you are trying to kill me?"
"maybe!" Shane laughs.
They all walk down the parking garage stairs and it hits Shane that he's holding Ilya's hand. They're in his hometown, on the streets he grew up on, at a parade he never imagined he'd be able to attend. Ilya is beaming.
"it is not like this in Russia," he says when Shane asks a silent question. "If there was a parade for people like us, it would be called 'Shame,' not Pride." He offers a little laugh at his joke, but there is sadness behind his eyes. Shane kisses him, deep and insistent. Harris cheers. So do a few strangers.
There it is. Recognition. Finally. Shane breaks the kiss preparing himself for the conversation. But it doesn't happen, even when they pull apart and let the strangers see their faces. It's a couple teenagers. Shane wonders if they've ever seen a hockey game. He has to remind himself it's not sad if they haven't.
"saved by the nerds, huh?" Troy says, and Shane nearly chokes laughing.
They find a place to watch the parade and Shane ends up on the end of their row next to another teenager, maybe 16 or so. But he's not a nerd. He sees Shane and his eyes go wide with recognition.
"Shane Hollander?"
Shane nods, and behind him, Ilya leans over to look at the kid, tightening his grip on Shane's hand like he's daring the kid to say something stupid.
"I joined the baseball team," the kid says.
"that's great," Shane says. He's had weirder interactions with fans.
"I came out when I was 13 and kind of thought that meant I would never play sports again? But then we had you and Troy Barret, and I really missed baseball, and I know it's not always going to be easy, but you have it all, you know? Maybe I can too. Probably not, like, professionally because I'm terrible and I want to be a historian but it's really fun and I missed it a lot. So thank you."
Shane stammers for a second. He has a dozen media perfected answers for every possible question but no fucking clue what to say to this kid.
"I was the opposite," Ilya says over his shoulder. "I started playing hockey very young and thought that my sexuality would just stay in a box for the rest of my life. We are the same now though," he says to the kid, "Shane Hollander made me think maybe I could have everything."
"I'm glad you're playing baseball," Shane says around something he doesn't want to talk about in his throat.
"do you want a picture with them?" Harris asks. Shane forgot he was there.
They take a picture with the kid and sign the little flag he's holding and turn back towards the parade.
Ilya puts an arm around Shane's shoulders.
"this is why I wanted to come," he says. "I like these fans."
Shane does too.
He also doesn't mind knowing he's with the hottest person here. When the parade starts, Ilya dances along to the music. Shane lets himself get pulled into it, lets himself laugh when Ilya lifts up their arms to spin around, lets himself just be.
They go home having signed more autographs and taken more photos, but it didn't make Shane tired like it usually does. He thinks it's because he never stopped being himself to sign them. He didn't have to pause his personal life and stuff it down. These people were excited for all of him. Even the gay part. Hell, maybe ESPECIALLY the gay part.
Ilya kisses the back of his hand as he drives. "Now, we have to do something about that hat," he purrs.
"what are you going to do about it?" Shane smirks
"Shane! I will die before I can get home to fuck you if you keep teasing like this!"
Shane had been worried. But it turned out to be a pretty great day.
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Shane & Ilya hanging out with Skip for unspecified reasons and the first time Kip teasingly says “girl!” to him about something, Shane just makes this face
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