exeunt, pursued by a bear.

the thing about the garden of eden is that while eve was partially deceived into eating the fruit of knowledge, she primarily did it of her own volition because she wanted to know. whereas adam only ate it to be with eve. she's everything he's just ken

my city… my fuckin city.

“The basenji is aloof and suspicious of strangers, but if you prove yourself useful, it may reward your service with a little warmth. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security, however—this dog will abandon you at the first opportunity of greener pastures, or the chance to wet its teeth in the blood of weaker creatures.”

“Do you want a cat? Do you want an evil cat that’s genetically a dog? Do you want an evil cat that’s genetically a dog and is possessed by a six thousand year old ghost? Get a basenji!”

“Basenjis need a lot of exercise and cannot be contented with trite ‘walks’. They need to run and do agility courses, but only in a securely contained area—they CAN and WILL scale fences and soar into the distance, never to be seen again. You must keep them chained at all times or take them to a military compound lined with lead to prevent the evil psychic ghost that pilots their bodies from taking control and helping them steal a tank or a fighter plane. Basenjis cannot be left alone indoors or out. Long ago, a sorcerer trapped the soul of an evil chaos demon inside the body of a dog that is impossible to train. You should not get a basenji if you want a pet dog. You should only get a basenji if you are willing to take up the responsibility of becoming the prison guard for a screaming chaos demon contained in the body of a wild animal. It is a heavy burden, but hey, at least it’s clean.”

I have been JOKING that a basenji/border collie mix would be the fleshy incarnation of chaos but... I am still surprised that this cross has happened... that we ALLOWED this cross to happen...

The creation of this cross is why god abandoned this timeline, he could not abide such a sin.

I feel like it's worth noting that this horrible little man is one of the animals featured in the infamous Dogs In Elk story. (TW for gore and animal death. nothing bad happens to the dogs, they actually have a GREAT time, but everyone else suffers)

"Bet you can fit a whole bunch of pomeranians in an elk carcass" lmao im crying what even is that story

@mama-germany

Move in together. Problem solved

what if a garden gnome is just the larval stage of a wizard

annoyed i had to read this, but strangely intrigued…

thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!

oh? if i'm an *evil* wizard then why does the king let me skulk around the throne offering bad advice unimpeded?

OMG, these are so beautiful! I love it when people make griffins based on bird species other than eagles!

Queen stuff

“oh really? you will teach me how to speak russian? u better bring that caviar and vodka, sweetie!”