Dreaming and This is Where We Land

my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before

Every time I see this I go “oh, neat pony” and scroll past while my brain chugs through the caption like the slowest computer on earth and I have to scroll back up to it

I saw the bear and said “oh, cool bear” out loud to myself, I think I may just actually be very stupid

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today

one of my favourite genres of character is , specifically a doctor or scientist who is So deeply evil coded but they're a member of the good guy team & actively helping. & theyre not even a reformed villain theyre just like that. going hehehehehee in their dark scary lab while developing an device that will actually help a lot of people

thank god vampirism is a flexible metaphor

it’s about being queer it’s about surviving assault it’s about alienation and most of all it’s about how everyone who loved you before might not be able to even look at you now, no matter how many times you try to explain that you didn’t ask to die and you didn’t ask for that death to leave you only half-eaten when it got bored of you.

Changing the relationship status to "Stalemate"

Changing the relationship status to "Uneasy truce"

Changing the relationship status to "Mutually assured destruction"

Regular Couple

this ended homophobia

happy pride month

I love how varied and universally weird the circumstances for making lifelong friendships are. Here's this guy I accidentally messaged once and I could not imagine my life without them now. Here's this girl I was so scared of when I met her, I would kill for her and remind her to rest on the regular. Here's this other guy we have so much in common we used to joke we were the same person in different timelines. It took us years to meet in person and I attended his wedding. There are also people who entered my life in absolutely unremarkable ways but changed it forever for the better. It's wonderful how easy it is to find people to love.

This is the best post I have ever written, read the notes and be blessed by loving your friends magic

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

or at least until 2041!

why is it on my dash again in 2026

download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

online chilling upload nice. posts give life a little spice. cpu is pure and true. internet for me and you :)

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world