IvoryTower

- sneezed wrong

- turned your neck a little too fast

- slept weird

- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual

- breathed

- failed to breathe properly

- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time

- looked too hard at something too far away

um

Missed 3 of 40, I had to blink a couple of times for some of the later ones.

So I did my hair up, I wore the equivalent of a dress (what I used to wear in those days is a little complicated, but fundamentally it was a dress), and I sat in my friend's basement, waiting.

My husband-to-be wore jogging pants (I found out later he always wore jogging pants) and a t-shirt from Sluggy Freelance that said "Humans are weird but tasty."

I laughed so hard, and it really set the tone for our future relationship.

Me when I contact IT and tell them yes I restarted and followed any instructions I could but computer still angry and IT says they are escalating this because it is an actual issue: I am getting a good grade in service desk ticket. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

How To Tell If A Fact Is True

by facts-i-just-made-up

Read the fact and make sure you understand what it's actually saying. Many false facts are just user error. EXAMPLE: Bobby misreads a headline that says "Sama-Gai Palace Takes In Donations" and thinks it said "Smegma Penis Tastes Of Donuts," resulting in a very bad blow-job that he blames on the newspaper.

Consider the source of the fact. EXAMPLE: Sarah reads that Jake Paul bought a 7 billion dollar yacht just to burn it down for laughs. Sarah believes it, having failed to notice that it was posted by a blog called lies-about-jake-paul on tumblr, resulting in her hating Jake Paul for the wrong reason, at the cost of all the many right reasons she should hate Jake Paul.

See if the fact has been confirmed by other reliable sources. EXAMPLE: Jacques reads that yeast can grow in human lungs resulting in the ability to spew acidic yogurt like some sort of messed up superpower. He checks several other medical sites to see if this is true and learns that while yeast can sometimes cause a lung infection, it will not give him superpowers. He spends the rest of his evening reconsidering his plans for the future, and goes into architecture and interior design instead.

Research the fact independently from the internet. EXAMPLE: Thnorg, Slayer of The Snail People is emailed a link to a video about how greasing your club with the blood of executed murderers will make it more deadly. Thnorg heads to the library, reads books about club-grease, and visits his local greaseteria to ask experts on grease. He thus learns that the blood of the damned will not make his club more deadly, and he coats the dance floor of his club in their blood knowing it will not harm his customers coming in for vampire night.

Check for possible biases from the writer of the fact. EXAMPLE: Scrotus reads a note passed to him in class that says that Jennifer is totally into Claire, and bought her a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. Scrotus knows however that the note came from Herman, who totally got stood up by Jennifer when they went to see Cannibal Holocaust at a midnight screening. Thus Scrotus distrusts the note, and relaxes in the knowledge that Jennifer really did buy the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack for him, and goes forward with his plans to invite her to see the Human Centipede marathon with him on Friday. He also avenged Herman by befouling Herman's lunch donut with termites. Scrotus will never be caught, and will marry Jennifer after college.

Develop your senses to be a good judge of the likeliness of a false fact. EXAMPLE: Luke is told that Darth Vader is his father. He says that that can't be true, and that it's impossible. This is because Luke is a poor judge of factual veracity. Luke later searches his feelings and knows it to be true. He asks Obi-Wan's force ghost and Yoda about how to discern the truth, and completes his Jedi training to confront Vader and help return balance to the force. You can see this example in greater detail in George Lucas's masterpiece film, "American Graffiti."

Ask a Magic-8-Ball or other novelty divination tool. EXAMPLE: Roy is informed by a post on Reddit that women are evil and he should treat them poorly. Roy asks his Magic-8-Ball if that is true. It doesn't matter what the ball tells him because it's literally still a better source for morals and ethics than red-pill posts on Reddit. Seriously fuck that shit.

Your adolescence is for playing world of warcraft

Your 20s are for playing world of warcraft

Your 30s are for playing world of warcraft