navaaa

back on my lottielee bullshit because what do you mean i come to you for spiritual guidance? you baptize me, during said baptism i have a vision predicting both your and my death. you die, and i’m wracked with grief and guilt over not saving you, and anger that everyone seems to have already forgotten you, so i give into my “gifts”. i try to embody everything you were to me. i spend my whole life cannibalizing your image, and 30 years later i’m still brought to tears at the sight of your ghost. i’m trying to help people, i’m garbed in heliotrope, all for you. when the worst of the visions come back, all i can yearn for is my death, my half of the vision that’s yet to come true. i seek it out intentionally. i recreate my vision. i die. my younger self greets my spirit and i panic. “have i missed it?” my younger self reassures me i haven’t. she asks, “are you ready to meet her?” your leitmotif in the background, and i am. finally, i am.

If you're a lottielee addict do NOT listen to come into the water by mitski It RUINED MY LIFE