excerpt from in-progress "timebending with Zuko" fic
Zuko wakes up and everything hurts.
Most specifically, his scar hurts.
That . . . doesnât make sense, he thinks, and reaches for it automatically. A strong hand catches his wrist before he can touch it, which seemsâfair, yes. Probably a good idea, anyway, because spirits does it hurt. Just . . . so much.
âUncle?â he asks reflexively, attempting to open his eyes. Itâs surprisingly difficult. And Uncle is in Ba Sing Se, of course, but heâs on his back on a futon or bedroll or something similar and someoneâs sitting beside him and his head is swimming and heâs injured, clearly, so options for who said âsomeoneâ might be are limited, really.
So itâs not Uncle, obviously, but . . .
âNephew,â Uncle says, very quietly, and Zuko . . . blinks.
At least, half-blinks. The one eyeâs in too much pain to open.
The ceiling is metal, he notes absentmindedly. Thatâs . . . odd. He was in the palace, wasn't he?
âWhat happened?â he asks, vaguely bemused. Uncle pauses in a very concerning way, and Zuko has about three heart attacks about just how badly he doesnât want to know what heâs about to say beforeâ
âThe Agni Kai,â Uncle says, very carefully. âDo you remember it?â
Zuko frownsâjust with the one side of his face, because again, his scar hurts right now. To the point that his whole body feels wrong, does his scar hurt right now.
âUmâwhich one?â he asks, because thereâs been about a dozen this month alone, and frankly heâs getting really sick of fighting them at this point but if the old guard of nobles are just going to keep dragging everything out like thisâ
âWith your father, Nephew,â Uncle says, very carefully.
âOh,â he says, vaguely perplexed. Uncle never talks to him about that. âYeah, I remember that. What about it?â
âDo you remember what happened?â Uncle says.
âThe part where I disgraced myself or the part where he burned my face?â Zuko says, because itâs so fucked up and awful and horrible that he canât even get upset about it anymore, except when heâs really upset about it. But if Uncleâs bringing it up, presumably he has a good reason to be, so . . . âOr the whole âgo find the Avatar who no one even believes exists anymore or you can never come home againâ part?â
â. . . all of that, yes,â Uncle says, still sounding very careful. Zuko frowns a littleâagain with just the one side of his faceâand then looks over at him. His body still feels weird and wrong, but . . .
Theyâre on a ship, he realizes. A Fire Nation one.
Well, explains the metal ceiling.
It doesnât explain why Uncle is wearing red armor and a topknot like he hasn't in years, though, or why he looks so unspeakably sad.
âUm,â Zuko says, and attempts to sit up. His head immediately starts swimming even worse, and Uncle catches his shoulders and keeps him pinned against the . . . futon? Looks like a futon, yeah. âWhere are we, exactly?â
âWe are aboard a ship,â Uncle says. âI . . . may have slightly commandeered it.â
â. . . you paid for it, right?â Zuko asks, a little skeptical at that idea.
âYes, Nephew, I did,â Uncle says, giving him a very tired, pained smile. Zuko doesnât feel much better, seeing it.
âIs someone dead?â he asks, because he canât think of anything else that would make Uncle look that way.
âAhâno, no one has died,â Uncle says.
âThen whatâs wrong?â Zuko asks warily.
â. . . you are injured, Nephew,â Uncle says, slowly. Zuko frowns, bemused. âAnd your father . . . I did not know he was going to do this. I am so sorry.â
Zuko . . . pauses. Looks around the room again, and then realizes: he knows this room, doesnât he. He knows this ship.
This is the same ship he woke up on after the Agni Kai.
âHold that thought, Uncle,â he says, then lifts his hands and looks at them. They . . . well, they are his hands, obviously.
But theyâre not his hands, obviously.
âHuh,â he says, frowning in bemusement at them; turning them around like he half-expects them to stop being a thirteen year-oldâs or something equally ridiculous. They donât. They are very definitely a thirteen year-oldâs hands.
Specifically, his thirteen year-old hands.
âYou donât have to be sorry,â he says after a moment, putting his hands back down and glancing back to Uncle, whoâs obviously the more important concern. âIt wasnât your fault.â
âI took you into that meeting,â Uncle says, his voice tight. âAnd I watched the Agni Kai. And I did nothing to stop any of it.â
âI know,â Zuko says. âBut it wasnât your fault.â
âIt was,â Uncle says, his smile a sad and terrible thing. âYou were there because of my actions. My mistakes.â
âYouâre not the one who wanted to sacrifice all those soldiers,â Zuko says. âOr the one who decided to throw fire at my face.â
âYou were there because of me,â Uncle repeats, his voice tight and his smile no less terrible. It occurs to Zuko, briefly, that Uncle must be thinking of Lu Ten.
He only ever looks like that when heâs thinking about Lu Ten, so . . .
âUncle,â he says. âReally. Itâs not your fault.â
âNephew,â Uncle says, and his voice is somehow even tighter. Zuko tries to get up again, and his head swims again, and Uncle moves to stop him again. This time he grabs onto Uncleâs wrists and uses them to pull himself up, and then . . .
Well, then heâs sitting up, at least.
He tilts his head and his hair slips into his eyes. Itâs loose, and long. Not shaved on the sides yet, like he wore it the last time he was thirteen. He supposes he should cut it, but then again, why should he? He's not changing anything, after all.
Except for this conversation, he supposes, because that went very differently last time.
"Uncle," he says one more time, and reaches out for him. Uncle doesnât seem to understand what heâs trying to do, so he has to reach out a little farther, and then Uncle makes the connection and leans in and lets him wrap his arms around him and alright, yes: thatâs better, Zuko thinks, and clings to him.
Just a little, perhaps, but . . .
Uncle wraps his arms around him in turn, very carefully, and makes an awful sound.
âMy boy,â he chokes. âIâm soâIâm soââ
âI forgive you,â Zuko lies, because of course thereâs nothing to forgive.
But of course Uncle doesnât understand that, does he.