i am thinking though about my code-poking and how if you go As Yourself to get the nanovores instead of puppeting someone else, you will get Chen Sus points. no matter whether or not you stop and gawk.
you get more if you stop and meet his eyes. you still get some if you don't look keep head down keep walking.
and it's just got me tapping out disjointed thoughts in a word doc right now thinking of... what was he thinking. he Saw You. he Knew.
was he wondering if he had finally cracked as well, seeing the ghosts of his failures just as ortega did? that of course his ghosts had new scars, looked broken and tired, because his ghost wouldn't be of the last time they saw sidestep alive it would be of that corpse on the autopsy table.
was he haunted anew by what he'd done, what he hadn't done? did he question if this time he was right, this time it was an agent sent to destroy the rangers, and it was his fault that he let them have that body without a fight?
and he couldn't even talk to anyone about it. nobody. because he had never shared those autopsy photos. had held that secret alone for years. so while ortega could see ghosts and crash out publicly he had to see that ghost and not even blink. no sign of recognition. no lingering look. no second glance.
i'm a little feral about it.