yes, i'm biased, because i've been cheated on.
no, i'm not trying to yuck someone's yum.
and generally, i just don't read any fics that are tagged as involving cheating, however... there have definitely been times where i missed the tag and/or it was a WIP and tags changed, or maybe it was never tagged.
i hate cheating fics because they tend to lean into all the harmful cheating stereotypes. the characters are usually written as star crossed lovers, and the character's partner is usually awful, maybe abusive. the pairing is simply meant to be, and the unsuspecting partner deserves what they get because they were a shit partner.
the reality of cheating for most people is totally different -- a relationship can be good, a betrayed partner can genuinely be a decent, unsuspecting person, whose biggest fault might be that they trust their partner too much. there's usually a lot of deception and assholery from the cheating partner, and any attempts to connect or ask questions about things that don't make sense is met with gaslighting.
and a lot of media, not just fanfiction, will try to paint cheating as being caused by a bad relationship or bad partner, but if that's genuinely the case, why wouldn't the cheating partner just break up and move on? oh. right. because often the relationship is pretty good, they're enjoying the benefits of being with their partner, and they don't really want to end things, what they just want is more. more attention. more feel good lovey dovey brain chemicals. more excitement in their life because they're bored with who they are as a person.
cheating is abuse. cheating is taking resources (often time & attention, sometimes money, too) away from your partner/family. cheating involves massive amounts of deception and often gaslighting, which makes betrayed partners feel like they're losing their minds. oh, and don't forget, you're also putting your partner's health at risk, and forcing them to have sex they did not consent to -- meaning, they think they're in a monogamous relationship and understand the risk factor for STDs, but in reality, if a cheating partner is having sex with other people without their knowledge, and then having sex with their partner, they're forcing them to take risks they're not consenting to.
being cheated on absolutely fucking sucks, and the cheating stereotypes perpetuated in media suck, too.
(if you've been cheated on, "not just friends: rebuilding trust and revovering your sanity after infidelity" by shirley glass and "how to help your spouse heal from your affair" by linda j. macdonald are two of the best books i've read. they're pretty straightforward, and not victim-blamey, which is great, because there are also some horrible books or therapista out there that try to blame affairs on relationships, or make the betrayed partner try to take some responsibility for it, and that make about as much sense as blaming your partner for domestic violence or alcoholism. did you partner make you hit them because they forgot to do the dishes? no. you're an abusive asshole and decided to hit your partner instead of doing the fucking dishes yourself.)
