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The fact that Everything Everywhere All at Once has the main character see that if she hadn’t gone to America with the man that would be her husband she would’ve lived a glamorous life of fame and fortune and her husband would’ve gone off and gotten very rich on his own rather than living together in an apartment over a laundromat struggling with finances every day and where so many movies would’ve framed that choice to go off together as a mistake, shown their alternative lives as some sort of “see? It wasn’t worth it” and had them “escape” to that “better” universe in the end, it instead all culminates in the line “Just so you know, in another life, I would’ve been really glad to just do laundry and taxes with you” changed my wholeass life

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

peac & love on planet earth

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

Her “disappearance” was also greatly exaggerated, she was under a lot of stress from the public and had just caught her first husband cheating on her, so she fucked off to a spa treatment hotel and checked in with a fake name as a “patient” claiming to not remember anything about her past. She kept up the illusion of mystery for most of her life, claiming to not know anything about what happened during that time, but in her twilight years she alluded to the fact that “of course I just ran away for a bit, wouldn’t you want to do the same?”

Buffy being terrible at lying and making up cover stories will never not be awesome to me. Like right the gym had asbestos, you’re in a band, the minister is preforming a c section

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

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I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

jackal - adjective, of or relating to jack

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

Also, for an interpretation to be valid it needs to be based on the text. It cannot just be a vibe. One can disagree on readings of the text, but if someone comes with quotes and/or historical context and you just have vibes, then sorry, your interpretation is inferior and may in fact just be a headcanon.

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

I'm stealing this. Thanks.