I am driven to distraction

Firstprince Masterlist

Hollanov Masterlist

I was just looking at how Sally was doing and

shane bringing home little glazed honey buns because the colour of them made him think of ilya's hair in the sunlight and he thought ilya might like a sweet treat

ilya emerging from the lake at the cottage with a smooth circular black rock in his hand and saying, 'look shane, it is like a puck!'

shane dutifully taking a photo of any dog he sees when he's out somewhere and sending it to ilya

ilya buying a silky red tie because he thinks shane would look nice in it, whether wearing it with a suit for a formal occasion or being tied to the headboard with it

That’s right

he comes home from his morning run and it’s still early enough that ilya is still sleeping, sprawled across their bed on his stomach and his curls are everywhere and his mouth is slightly parted and there’s just the tiniest bit of drool at the corner of his mouth and shane can’t stop staring at him because ilya is here in their bed and shane loves him so much and wait, he doesn’t have to memorize this, he can take a picture.

they’re on the couch when anya comes scrambling up onto ilya’s lap and ilya isn’t even watching the movie anymore, just cooing at anya and cuddling her and shane can just. take a picture.

ilya’s getting ready for an irina foundation event and he hasn’t put on his suit jacket yet and fuck his shoulders and back and arms in that shirt are fucking insane and so shane sneaks out his phone from his pocket and takes a picture.

ilya sends him a selfie from his car because he just got out of a captain’s meeting along with a text “i miss you” even though it’s only been a couple hours since he left that morning and shane doesn’t need to spend ten minutes tracing the lines of ilya’s face with his thumb before deleting it. no, he can just save it to his phone instead.

ilya laughing with his head thrown back at one of bood’s bbqs. ilya making a funny face over at him while posing for an ad campaign yuna got for him. ilya lying on the ground with a bunch of puppies crawling all over him, wearing the biggest, most contagious smile. ilya bent over a puzzle with a focused expression on his face. just ilya, ilya, ilya.

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.