Slow Writer Crossing

between friends has become a

cultural icon.

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

Bruce and Hal like each other, okay? They're each funny! And okay, Bruce is handsome, smells nice, a gentleman... so maybe Hal is freakishly in love.

One thing Bruce consistently talks about is his babies. That man loves his babies so much. Hal respects that Bruce can never show him pictures, but his descriptions of the kids paint a really sweet image of Bruce's "civilian" family

"My eldest, Dick! Oh yes, he just mastered a new technique with his gymnastics class! He's very proud of it! And my daughter, Cass, is cast for a solo in her next ballet, I'm so excited to see it. Tim loves the new videogame you suggested for his console, he just can't leave it! Damian thinks the shirt you gave me was nice. Oh, and I cannot forget mentioning my Jason! Yes! My little boy was so clingy today. He won't let me leave to go on this date! He's sick as of last night. Oh, my poor baby..."

Hal is so sick with cuteness aggression, so when things get serious between Bruce and him, he insists that he MUST meet his kids.

Well...

He did not expect Nightwing to drop hell on him, like full on knee-drop from the stratosphere. His name is Dick Grayson, and he is part of a gymnastics class!!!...... as the teacher.

And Cass is, in fact, a ballet student.... THE SENIORS DANCE COMPANY..... she is also batgirl and she's the few creatures to remind Hal of what fear is.

Tim is Red Robin, and yes he thanked Hal personally for the videogame suggestion, before promptly threatening to castrate Hal if he ever breaks his dad's heart.

Damian was ALMOST forgivable. He's very much baby-sized. But he's also Robin and an Al-Ghul and Bruce get your child away from me he's threatening to duel me for your hand- STOP LAUGHING.

Jason? Jason is the worst. Bruce made him out to be this clingy, soppy wet cat of a child that cries when left alone too long and whose biggest problems is crusts on the sides of his plate. Turns out he's the Red Hood and also 6"5 and built like a barn. He also has dry humor. And guns. Lots of it.

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Hal: You said you had 5 babies???

Bruce: Yes, 5 babies 😊

Hal: [staring at the 5 miscellaneous death threat notes he got from the trained operatives that are his boyfriend's attack dogs]

Bruce: Aww, they made you love cards! 🥹

Hal: One of this is from Dick. He says to remember to lock my door, just in case....

Bruce: He's feeling protective! 🥰

…and the vet was like, “You know the thing with geriatric cats is—” and I was like, “What do you mean, geriatric?! It’s a little baby, look at her!" Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts (2025)

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

please rb for larger sample size!

Question 1/3

Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

And published it in Penthouse, to force those same censors to buy a skin mag. The editor there asked, why Penthouse?

That one is from his autobiography, Becoming Superman. See also:

When he was making Pulp Fiction, he was worried that the MPAA would object to the high level of violence in the film, so he shot a bunch of extra-gory stuff that he didn’t actually want in the film, and added it in before submitting it to the MPAA. Predictibly, they asked him to cut most of it (without even commenting on some of the things that had him worried, like the bits of Marvin’s skull that lodge in Samuel L. Jackson’s hairpiece). The resultant cuts were actually more permissive than he’d expected, so he cut a little more and submitted it, and it got passed with an R.

The second story is about that artist on Morrowind whose name escapes me (I’m not a big ES fan tbh) who figured out that if he made two creature designs, one weird and what he wanted, and one even weirder, he could get Todd Howard to agree to just about anything by showing him the whopper first, then going back and “working” for another few hours on a second, “toned-down” version, and it worked every time.

The reason I bring these up is that the thing that drives censors isn’t some extant physical rubrick of what is and isn’t acceptable, it’s the idea that they can have absolute power over someone else’s creative work. It’s about the social dominance of the interaction.

There is nothing so innocent, so clean, that a censor will not find some fault with it. Because they must find something wrong with it to justify their existence, and because it makes them feel powerful.

Jason: I get why the rule is important to you. I respect it but come on, there has to be some people that you consider killing.

Cass: No.

Jason: People who say shit like "as a" something or other to butt in on people's arguments?

Cass: No.

Jason: People who snap their fingers at wait staff.

Cass: It's rude but no, not even then.

Jason: Dick when he leaves the toilet seat up.

Cass:

Cass: No.

Jason: Now I know you're lying. Your bitch ass folded like sheet last night. I heard you screaming from the fucking Cave. And you want to tell me that I'm wrong?

Cass, with a shit eating grin: No. Killing is wrong.

Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.