Collecting Hobbies Is My Hobby

I still won't forget when my wisdom tooth got infected and couldn't sleep bc the pain was so bad and I took like 4 of those those blue gel ibuprofens and I finally fell asleep for a couple hours and kept having dreams about beautiful glowing blue animals that help you and I kept waking up thinking the blue animals will help me and realizing wait what are blue animals they aren't real and immediately falling back asleep thinking about the blue animals again

I dreamt there was a blog on Tumblr simply called hasithappenedyet and every day they’d post “No.” And Tumblr users were losing their minds over what “it” was.

Not yet.

it fucken WIMDY

“girk at my work”

“girk at my work”

People universally seem to parse it as Mean but sometimes what you really, really need to hear is "this is not a socially appropriate thing to say, and you should not have said it"

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

VAGINA!!!!

Hmm, maybe I should go back and rewrite everything 🤔

The alphabet will start at 9

Oh good I can sleep in a little.

love leopard seals. they are so dragon coded. that is an entire mammalian marine wyrm

IVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW AND IT TURNS OUT WE KNEW EACH OTHER AND WERE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER PRETRANSITION

we we’re talking about how we had a mutual friend and how that was so wild and then they mentioned another friend i knew and i was like “yeah i played soccer with them both in the park” and my friend was like “wait does your deadname start with a C” and it turns out she was also there and we just had no idea who each other was this entire time till now

This is fucking wild

This is half a plot for a modern Shakespearean comedy of errors.

Romcom where two people meet cute and bond over how awful their exes were and plan elaborate revenge schemes but it turns out they both transitioned and are helping to plan revenge plots against themselves

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user