This is the Gospel of the Losers

as an asexual who likes to imagine sex but doesnt actually like having sex, sometimes it just feels like sex isnt real but i wish it was. and post

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

it's the next thing

What a wonderful thing for our girls!!!

How so? How can it affect them? 🤨

My dear Merian! You must know I am thinking of his reblogging from one of them!

Is that his design in blogging here?

Design? nonsense, how can you write so! But it is very likely that he may reblog from one of them, and therefore you must follow him as soon as his blog is online.

I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may follow him, or they may follow him by themselves, which perhaps will be still better for them, for as you are as clever as any of them he might reblog most from you of the party.

My dear, you flatter me. I certainly HAVE had my share of cleverness, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up mutuals, she ought to give over thinking of her own reblog counts.

In such cases, a woman has not often much of a reblog count to think of.

happens

Thank you, that was terrifying

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

if Mumford & Sons existed in Aramán I think 17-year-old Azune would have listened to Little Lion Man on repeat every night in his tent and cried. And I think Teor would eventually go up to him and say "you are not little lion man" and it would just make Azune cry harder because now he thinks he accidentally offended Teor. And Teor would panic and say "no no I meant you are not metaphorical little lion man, I didn't think you thought you were an actual lion man." Which, of course, would just make Azune even more upset because he feels guilty that he thought Teor would not understand the metaphor. And eventually he'd just be lying on the ground ugly sobbing while Teor is patting his back and saying "I wish to kill Mumford and all of his Sons"

when he has those dull, lifeless, fragile eyes and you can tell he’s a c section baby

honestly fandom has ruined me because now any time i'm in the desert and i see two vast and trunkless legs of stone or a half-sunk shattered visage i'm like "omg just like in Ozymandias" and its like come on girl not every half-sunk shattered visage is Ozymandias

Everyone got that one friend that was a failed vessel for something greater 🤣🤣🤣

babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times

wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...