it's wizard time

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

"baby names" is a real misnomer because they're often permanent

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

this and a blunt

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

sometimes i think i can probably pass as masc and maybe even as a straight guy but any time i engage in conversation with a kind stranger i have a demeanor not unlike a princely rich girl archetype in a 2000s manga and frequently extend my hand in an elegant manner which has caused a number of drunken individuals on nights out to kiss my hand as if i were a beautiful ojousama and not a greasy mechanic