Half the Size Twice the Fun

Shane shortly before waking Ilya up at the cottage: ‘Hmmmmm, I can’t trap him with a baby. wait let me google……okay i definitely can’t get pregnant. Hold on…..sea-horse dads?…..nevermind…..can i adopt a baby-trap?…………no I’d just have a kid……………………okay wait what if we like coached some kids? Like they wouldn’t be ours but like- we wouldn’t be able to break-up because of the kids. Am i fucking on drugs? What the fuck am i thinking……..wait………..like a team of kids but it’s like charity…………cause men leave their children all the time but it would be a really bad look leave a charity……………….i can make a charity and it’ll have kids and we’ll help the kids……..and Ilya likes kids…………and he likes me………..and he’ll wanna stay with me forever….so he’ll be baby trapped AND we’ll be doing a good thing.* “Ilya wake up i have an idea.”

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

nobody coughs up blood dramatically into their handkerchiefs anymore

game of chess but with real people but all the pawns are trans women and if they get to the eighth rank they get a lifetime supply of estrogen

It is too. they just have to take some pieces to not get in each other's way.

Are there enough pieces to do that for every pawn though?

yes. easily.

Show me.

1. e4 e5 2. Ne2 d5 3. Nf4 exf4 4. e5 Kd7 5. e6+ Kc6 6. e7 Qd6 7. e8=Q+ Kb6 8. d4 Be7 9. Qf8 Bf6 10. c4 Be5 11. dxe5 c5 12. e6 d4 13. e7 d3 14. Be2 f5 15. Bf3 Nf6 16. O-O d2 17. Qc2 d1=Q 18. Be3 fxe3 19. e8=Q e2 20. Be4 fxe4 21. f4 e1=Q 22. f5 Qc3 23. b4 Nd5 24. f6 e3 25. f7 e2 26. Qfe7 e1=Q 27. f8=Q Qe4 28. cxd5 c4 29. Qe2 Qcd3 30. Nd2 c3 31. Nf3 c2 32. Nd4 Qde5 33. d6 c1=Q 34. d7 g5 35. d8=Q+ Ka6 36. g4 Bf5 37. gxf5 g4 38. f6 g3 39. f7 Qh4 40. Kg2 Qhf4 41. Kh3 Qff5+ 42. Kh4 g2 43. Qg7 g1=Q 44. f8=Q Nd7 45. Nc6 bxc6 46. Qb8 c5 47. b5+ Ka5 48. b6 c4 49. b7 c3 50. Qbc8 c2 51. b8=Q Qce3 52. Rb1 c1=Q 53. Rb6 axb6 54. a4 h5 55. Qef6 Qed2 56. Qfg8 Kb4 57. a5 b5 58. a6 Ra7 59. Qcd8 Rc7 60. a7 Kc5 61. a8=Q b4 62. Rf4 Qdd6 63. Rg4 hxg4+ 64. Qh5 g3 65. h3 g2 66. Q7h7 Qgh2 67. Qbb7 Qea1 68. Qfe7 b3 69. Q7e6 Qhh1 70. Qef6 Qfd5 71. Kg4 g1=Q+ 72. Kh4 b2 73. Qgg2 b1=Q 74. Kg4 Qge1 75. h4 Re8 76. Qhe5 Qda2 77. Qhe4 Q2b2 78. h5 Q2a2 79. h6 Q2b2 80. h7 Q2a2 81. h8=Q

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person