saul goodman's defense attorney

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

does anyone on the mariners actually have an ass besides cal raleigh and jose ferrer. dont say julio becase his ass is a false illusion from how tight his pants are

chose a hill but i won't die on it. feel free to come and be killed on my hill

The Mariners had TWO pride nights and ZERO players kissing each other smh

always good to have friends who are at least 5 years older than you and friends who are at least 5 years younger than you. being the youngest person you know will make you feel like an inexperienced child who knows nothing of the world. being the oldest person you know will make you feel like the joker.

say all the shit u want about the imperial system whatever. its pretty dogshit for a lot of things but JUST KNOW it slayed for weather. as an american who just immigrated to europe in the height of summer i think celsius is like the worst possible system of measurement for goddamn Sunny Day ever invented and i kinda wanna scream into a pillow about it every time i have to mentally translate what 30° is. RRRAAAA🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

listen. the imperial system is like 8 different systems of measurement all jammed together in a beautiful incredibly stupid mishmash of different concepts and it works Fine. so i do kinda think everyone else in da world are being kinda weenies for not adopting ONE ☝️ additional unit of measurement that makes talking about how temperature feels to a human body way easier. humans can tell the difference between like percentages of degrees so why tf are there only 30 of the damn things between Maybe itll snow and Oh god i need to rip my skin off

celsius beautiful. for baking and chemistry. leave the weather OUT OF IT 😤

Imagine sports fans talked about their team the way online stans talk about their pop girlie.