Hello! and Welcome!

people will see a structural problem and go "is anybody going to attribute to this a surface-level issue that is a symptom and not the cause" without waiting for an answer

being a bitch actually saves you a lot of time

they’ll think you’re a bitch anyway for having some reasonable boundary so you might as well just be a bitch sometimes and save yourself the trouble, the time, the energy, the money, etc

there's a common belief that artists know how to make art. this is untrue. i've yet to meet a single artist who has any idea what they're doing

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

Kids sitcom about a group of friends where all of them are a part of secret magical or superhero based underground society that don’t know about each other and they all think that the others are ignorant normies that they have to protect from their magical shenanigans.

The witch kid, the superhero sidekick, the cryptid hunter, and the half fairy kid are all unknowingly trying to hide the same talking cat from the principal of their school and the talking cat doesn’t tell any of them about each other because it’s currently getting many extra helpings of treats in exchange for its silence.

During the episode where they all find out about each other’s secret lives there’s obviously a slow look over to the cat who’s like “well you never asked. Anyways, completely unrelated but I’ve gotta go.”

Reblog for the last one

it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate

So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created

sometimes a fic can just be about the age old question 'how emotionally bad for everyone involved can a threesome be when they all did in fact agree to be there'

not to be rude but some of y'all need to look on the bright side sometimes. like, yeah sure the world is fucked and people suck and we all die whatever, sure, but like. go outside.

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

#wait reblogging again to say#i also feel this way about rodents being mean and/or suicidal#if you think all rodents are seconds away from taking a chunk out of your finger maybe rethink being near rodents. ever.#the reason your small pet is skittish and scared of you and bites when you touch it and died after a month#is that you have no idea how to handle them and know nothing about the care requirements. via @cupidispretty extremely accurate peer reviewed

my problem is i never lie bc it generally just doesn’t occur to me. but if i catch someone else lying about something really really funny i’m like oh i’m gonna piggyback their lie. let’s see how far this takes us.

you all may remember i was diagnosed with psychosis as a child because i committed too hard to the bit pretending that i believed i could psychically communicate with horses. the failure of the system is Not funny but ☝️ i think my role in it was