I eat souls

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

Also just the classism of her associating tattoos with “vest tops, dogs on chains, broken beer glasses”; like, just say you hate poor people

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

But can I have sex with older men there

i think there is a phenomenon where sometimes a trans person will go “hmm. i am treated as a man when it is convenient for others, and a woman when it is convenient for others, and often as a freakish third thing excluded from the advantages of both. surely, because of the gender binary, the Other Type of trans person experiences the opposite: they reap the benefits of maleness and femaleness at once.” like babes no they can do it twice

I recently experienced this film with 5 other gays while on LSD and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life

I know of a trail racing company that gives the slowest racer who finishes every race a DFL award: Dead Fucking Last. I was a little taken aback by this until I had it explained to me that those last-place finishers are pretty much uniformly people for whom finishing at all was an accomplishment: people undergoing cancer treatments, absolute beginners, runners in their eighties, extremely pregnant people, you get the idea. Moreover, what you see as this person crosses the finish line is all these sporty trail racers, many of whom finished the race literal hours earlier, cheering their hearts out because they respect that, yes, DFL is still a place, baby.

the ones at the zoo where i did my internship dug up an old clay pipe in their enclosure, & then ate it. they just ate the pipe.

Sometimes you will be a lesbian to your parents and a straight man to your partners parents and a gay man to your partner and a woman to your grandparents and out to your friends and stealth to your classmates and a nice young lady to the cashier at the coffee shop and then people on your computer will ask you to choose which of these identities you ACTUALLY are and which you are Appropriating The Oppression Of because don’t you know they contract each other. You can only be one thing solidly forever

Yeah okay I'll reblog that!!

can you imagine how often you would use sign language if everyone knew it