EPICDUDE365

stairs are so funny. falling 100 meters will kill you. solution? fall 10 centimeters a thousand times.

they invented all those neat si prefixes and people still talk like this

falling a hectometer will kill you. solution? fall a decimeter a kilotime.

westerners twisting facts to fit their tiny insulated worldview omg "this bad thing that never happened in this savage country is definitely like this bad thing that actually happened in my much elevated civilized one" sorry for forgetting this is the idiot website again it won't happen again

people always talk about the doomed love timeloop when they talk about hadestown. look i love that shit as much as the next homosexual but can we please talk about the revolutionary politics. genuinely one of the best anticapitalist pieces of art of the 21st century. can we watch act 2 with our brains please

actually we should start headcanoning female characters as being terrible with children

stop mother-ifying fictional literally all female characters. that fictional woman would not know what the fuck to do with a child

Volcano lewds

I don’t know why butchers aren’t chasing people around with their butcher knives in bloody aprons anymore but that isn’t a major concern in 2026. Maybe modern hairnets have a soothing effect.

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

Great advice

my most wild and fanciful dream is that customers will learn to read

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me