Regina is All

BREAKING: Elon Musk Is No Longer a Trillionaire After His Rocket Refused to Leave Earth

Pour one out for Elon Musk. He's poor now, and by poor we mean he only has $792 billion.

The world's first trillionaire has officially been kicked out of his own exclusive club, according to Forbes, after SpaceX stock tanked following the latest failed Starship launch. Musk's net worth peaked at $1.45 trillion on June 16. Since then, he has lost nearly $700 billion, which might be the most expensive month in human history.

Seven hundred billion dollars. Gone. That's roughly the GDP of Switzerland vanishing because a rocket wouldn't turn on.

And the explanation is the best part. Musk blamed Thursday's aborted launch on the fact that "some of the engines didn't start," which is the kind of thing you say about a 1998 Honda Civic, not the flagship product of a company you just took public in the largest IPO in history. Investors apparently agreed, sending SpaceX shares on a five-day losing streak to $124, below the $135 IPO price that crowned him a trillionaire barely a month ago.

The richest man on Earth got humbled by a check engine light.

To be clear, nobody needs to set up a GoFundMe. Forbes still ranks Musk as the world's richest person, worth more than double his nearest competitors, and his remaining fortune could buy nearly eight million Cybertrucks, which is coincidentally about eight million more than anyone wants.

Still, the symbolism writes itself. The man who ran DOGE, slashed government services for working families, and lectured the country about efficiency just watched two-thirds of a trillion dollars evaporate because his own engines didn't start. He spent years telling Americans to trust the hype, and the hype had a mechanical failure on the launchpad.

The trillionaire era lasted one month. Gravity remains undefeated.

Not the Economy

Not his pointless War

Not the Epstein files

Having to pay E Jean Carroll DESPITE being the Pedophile-Rapist-in-Chief emphasizes to him how tenuous his position is.

He has to stay in office with MAGA run Congress until he dies or he’ll be in jail.

Lest we forget, this Fool was President for three months after the Election. Had his legal minions file 60 separate law suits to overturn the Election. Many brought before federal judges he appointed

All 60 were summarily dismissed for lack of merit.

If he had the slightest shred of evidence of tampering by domestic or foreign then at least one suit would have gone through at least to Discovery phase.