if people were to take communion based on you, what would your body and blood be? mine would be bourbon and a spicy sweet chili dorito
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@enraptored
if people were to take communion based on you, what would your body and blood be? mine would be bourbon and a spicy sweet chili dorito

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Responding to a pandemic in the worldās wealthiest and most powerful nation:
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUāRE APOLOGIZING FOR BECAUSE IāM COMPLETELY CONFUSED
The RNA vaccines approved for COVID-19 in the US both need to be distributed at extremely low temperatures. Like 40F lower than any other mass-distributed medicine.
It turns out the Dippin Dots company runs the only nationwide supply chain thatās ever operated at those temperatures. So all these big serious health orgs are consulting the expertise of, and even exploring renting equipment from, The Ice Cream of the Futureā¢ļø.
WODJSKXNSIJXSKD
I beg your pardon
it's a classic scam. you buy cheap ingredients, renovate them using heat and other ingredients and flip em. by the time the cops catch up you've moved on to another dish
i love these two
this is my fav joke

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*hurriedly scribbling notes*
finally, a logical explanation for why fuckbucket is such a good word.
fucktrumpet and shitbiscuit finally make sense now
Ah, a great explanation of how I arrived atĀ ācheeseneedleā
Every episode of the Mandalorian further confirms that Yodaās species is actually a race of ravenous nightmare gremlins and being a kind, empathetic, noble pacifist was 1000% a choice.
#some human criminal: āI donāt know about you āMaster Jediā but some of us just have urges that we canāt fight!ā#yoda: āknow what I think everytime I see a child do you? hm? āfoodā. Yes. āEasy preyā. āHelpless and unprotected it is.ā#ā'Eat the child do I? No. Feel the urge to eat? Yes. Base instincts we all haveā¦learn to master them we must.ā
Thereās absolutely nothing in the star wars canon to suggest yoda wasnāt eating children off screen
one thing the Mandalorian has made clear
is that Yoda wasnāt on Dagobah for any mystical Force reasons, he was there because it was a literal smorgasbord for him. he was the apex predator in that bog, everything for miles around was probably TERRIFIED of him. every food chain ended in Yoda & his death came as a huge relief to the entire ecosystem.
Conservatives will be like āWhy are you holding me accountable for my bigoted beliefs? Whatever happened to tolerance???ā
The response to that is Tolerance Is Not a Moral Precept - it is a peace treaty. It is a contract of cooperation, or at least, of non-interference.
the model of a peace treaty differs from the model of a moral precept in one simple way: the protection of a peace treaty only extends to those willing to abide by its terms. It is an agreement to live in peace, not an agreement to be peaceful no matter the conduct of others. A peace treaty is not a suicide pact.
(Bold added)
Someone whoās actively trying to oppress, belittle, exclude, or harm people based on their identities is not complying with the contract, so thereās no reason to extend its protection to them.
what a week huh?

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Iām proud of all of us. This was a TEAM EFFORT, and we DID IT. Everybody hit the showers.
I looked this up and it is TRUE, Bye Bye Bye has reached number 86 on the charts as of the evening of November 7th. Other top 200 hits include Talkinā About a Revolution by Tracy Chapman, Georgia On My Mind by Ray Charles, and Fuck You Goodbye by The Kid Laroi.
Reblogging this again to add that in addition to āBye Bye Byeā, the following are also in the iTunes top 100 right now:
āParty in the USAā by Miley Cyrus
āCelebrationā by Kool & the Gang
āFuck Donald Trumpā by dropz
āNa Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbyeā by Steam
āWe Are the Championsā by Queen
āDancing in the Streetā by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas
āY.M.C.A.ā by the Village People (which is especially petty and hilarious because Trump used āY.M.C.A.ā as his campaign theme song)
āPhiladelphia Freedomā by Elton John
āHit the Road Jackā by Ray Charles
Absolutely outstanding work by the American people tonight.
why people on the internetdo a shouting? small letter, small voice, small baby bird. thank u
a productive what now?
like I'm sorry but this is so funny it is causing me to lose my life. "we are all living through a global pandemic, nobody has any money, our democracies are horrifically morally bankrupt and our world is dying. here's how to break down spiritually in a palatable and socially-approved way!"
... I consider myself a pretty emotionally constipated person but jesus christ
"Sorry, I'm afraid I can't have a meeting at 4 today because it conflicts with my crying session"
"Sorry, I have my weekly spiraling panic attack at 2pm tomorrow. Would Wednesday be okay for you?"
Ok honestly the commentary on this is kind of pissing me off. A lot of people deal with depression, anxiety, and other mental health struggles while still maintaining a certain level of function and yāall being so judgey about an effective coping strategy is kind of rude.
A lot of people need to get their ass to work or through their other responsibilities every day in order to have access to housing, medication, food, and all that other shit. And yes, capitalism is fucking bullshit and I wish we lived in a society where we get to feel things as they come and express ourselves freely but we donāt.
So yeah, to be candid, when I find myself in āsurviving a crisis modeā you bet your ass I schedule my meltdowns. If Iām in acute stress for a prolonged period where I have to function in order to navigate that stressor, I might decide that I need to set aside time to cry and be upset and process everything Iām experiencing, and put a limit on how long that block of time gets to be so I can resume my responsibilities. A āproductive meltdownā is one where I can finally let everything out that Iāve had boxed up in order to get through my day to day, name and process that, and then focus back in on the things I need to do one at a time until Iām back to where I need to be to like, be ok. Iām not a professional or anything so maybe my advice is shit and not the best way to handle things, but itās the only way Iāve figured out so far, so please enlighten me if youāve all got a better idea.
For those of you who donāt have this ability and whose mental health is at that point where you have no control over your āmeltdownsā you are ALSO valid and seen and I get it, and I pray you have the support necessary to get through that.
But for those of us keeping it together by a thread, please, do MAKE TIME to be emotional. MAKE TIME to cry and bug out and punch a pillow and scream or stare at the wall and be vacant or rock yourself or do whatever it is you need to do. You can ABSOLUTELY say āno, I canāt attend the meeting tomorrow at 4pm,ā if that is the ONLY block of time you can scrape together to process the crippling stress that is our current reality.
I may be āemotionally constipatedā but right now I canāt be emotionally incontinent, so this will have to do.
First encountered this in terms of scheduling time to grieve. It's not emotional constipation. It's the opposite. Unless you want to become completely disabled, you need to give yourself time to fall apart.

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i have 15 yearsā worth of outstanding library fines in three separate cities and itās my hope that eventually a bounty hunter librarian will come to collect and weāll get in a bar fight and fall in love
I also canāt rent movies in two different towns so thereās that.
Iām newly terrified by the implication that librarians arenāt people and Iāve misjudged what exactly Iām up against
The End, byĀ Alister Lockhart.
Bruh, if you donāt think that having historically significant events well documented from multiple perspectives is a good thing, then idk what the hell u doin.
Besides, like, that is literally a Giant Monster Rampaging Through The Town. What the fuck is the everyday person gonna do other than Tweet/Instagram/Post about it goingĀ āItās the apocalypse you guys! Eyyyy lmao #apocalypse #deathrising #nofilterā?
#like come on your cellphone may not defeat the beast#but it can gain you like 50000 followers before the skies start raining blood so#whoās the REAL winner here?Ā (via @purplebloodedmajesty)
And heck, even if your own death is inevitable getting information out could help save other people, even if it canāt save you.Ā āHere are 20 livestreams of the giant tentacle monster including how it moves and attacks, how can we beat it?ā is way more useful thanĀ āan entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk manā
reblogging for this perfection: āan entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk manāĀ
I personally would be trying to give the Great One flowers and chocolate, but I donāt fault others for watching to get a picture of something so glorious and terrible. š
These are photos taken by Robert Landsburg of the eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980. He realized he would never get to safety in time, so he kept taking pictures of the ash cloud for as long as possible. Then he put the camera securely in his bag and lay down on top of it to protect it before being engulfed in the pyroclastic flow. When they found his body, the recovered the pictures were invaluable to geologists because no one had ever been able to document an eruption that close up before.
There are many more such photographs of unimaginable perspectives taken moments before death, only because of the compelling human desire to assert that we were here, this happened, this was real. Itās the most human desire there is - to reach out across time and space to connect with our fellow beings until our last breath.
Thatās haunting
I fucking tear up every time I see this post because thatās it. Thatās the essence of what it means to be human.
I was here. I explored. I saw this. Remember me.
Fuck