Greg's saved posts

the near universal absence of hose in late medieval inspired visual media is so evil not for historical accuracy reasons or anything but bc I think they're hot & I'm offended by the implication that they're too weird or unattractive to include. fake men's legs enjoyers everywhere. I bet they wouldn't even appreciate the eroticism of a little flash of braies where the thigh meets the body if they got it. sad!

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

EVEN THE FUCKING MUSIC OH MY LORD

whenever i look into a historical monarch who doesn’t get talked about much and is just kind of a blank spot in my understanding of the historical narrative, 95% of the time what i find is pure white hot blistering capability. a pencil pusher for the ages. a 39 year reign with no more than three hours of sleep a night. there aren’t any good stories from his reign because he systematically caught and stopped all catastrophic good stories before they could start. you shrimply must respect it

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

i had a bizarre flashback, recently. i was lighting a cigarette under a tree on a gentrified block that i happen to work on. there was a branch with a particular curve to it and suddenly, clear as day, i recalled, from over a decade earlier, prior to gentrification, a quite short kind of hippy woman i was once acquainted with awkwardly hanging from that branch like a sloth in a sun-dress, talking about a boy she was horny for who had proportions like an enderman. i thought to myself "well, jeff is the tree she really wants to climb" and i guess that's really where the sex part comes in, watching somebody support their lower body, while in a skirt riding up somewhat tantalizingly, via clasped thighs around a branch.

If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game

Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds

oh my god

There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.

We had a mini-scandal in the German translation/interpretation community last year about exactly this – the interpreter for the inauguration got sick of Trump's incoherence and made a remark into his mic that was not intended to be heard (here's my post on it).

The Titanic is an exceptionally weird whalefall basically.

Coral acting like a living fossil specifically for sunken ships is the coolest thing I've ever heard

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging up old human skeletons.) And, uh, home-made bioarchaeology is tragically discriminated against by law enforcement.

Only if you get caught

This whole post took an unexpected turn

Out of work paleontologists can take a page out of the Girl Scouts handbook and eat a chicken, clean the bones, encase them in a mud and plaster mix, then chip it back out. Which is legitimately how Girl Scouts earn their paleontology badge.

… I rebuilt my chicken by modeling muscles back onto the bones using clay, then putting skin on it and making it look like a dinosaur…. 

Perfect. Exactly the right way to add a part 2 to this project.

enrichment

How do I explain Plato’s allegory of the cave to quarantined archeologists?

::wheeze::

aliens love travelng million of light years to be naked in the middle of the night in a forest