Our Lady of Immaculate Depression

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

Noted: misogyny is a skill issue

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

Her “disappearance” was also greatly exaggerated, she was under a lot of stress from the public and had just caught her first husband cheating on her, so she fucked off to a spa treatment hotel and checked in with a fake name as a “patient” claiming to not remember anything about her past. She kept up the illusion of mystery for most of her life, claiming to not know anything about what happened during that time, but in her twilight years she alluded to the fact that “of course I just ran away for a bit, wouldn’t you want to do the same?”

Donald Trump desperately trying to initiate the Red Scare 2 but no one giving a fuck is hilarious to me. The GOP has already villainized and fearmongered about immigrants, transgender people, DEI hires, ANTIFA, etc. and introducing a new supervillain hiding amongst us just isn’t working. I wish there was a communism WAS the greatest threat to America.

During yesterday’s speech he said something to the tune of “The communists want to seize your house and give it to your neighbor.” which shows how out of touch he is, how advanced his dementia is and how the Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are not applicable to the 2020s because no one owns their house anymore and most of us would prefer our house being owned by our neighbor instead of our landlord.

The Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are sooooooooo outdated in today’s world. Saying shit like “Under communism, the government will assign you a job and you will not get to pick!” would make 85% of my generation be like “That sounds awesome, I’m so sick of AI job interviews, just got rejected for the job I applied for shoveling elephant shit at the zoo.”

IT’S MARCH

Uh… It’s still May…

It’s august

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!