certified champion of lost causes

divorced couple energy ship will always be immaculate to me. we hate each other. we've seen each other naked. I know how you take your morning coffee. I will never make you your morning coffee again. get it yourself. here you go, I gave it to you anyway. you disgust me. I will always be somewhat in love with you. I will be yours forever. you're not mine anymore. you will always be mine. fuck you. let's fuck, for old time's sake. did you steal my cd? no, no. keep it.

what they don’t tell you about online relationships is how easy it is to ruin them by simply having nothing to say. i like you so much but i don’t know how to hang out with you in silence. i don’t know how to text like a person so now you think i hate you. aaaaaaaaa

are you guys hearing about this dude working to developing a vaccine for cats that he's hoping would like. theoretically double their lifespans?

"But I don't want to turn people into dinosaurs. I wanna cure kittie kidneys!"

Love going to bed with a new, good daydream scenario fresh in my mind. Like yes girl, movie night!

i will defend that fictional teenage girl with my life. i literally don’t even care what she did. you would’ve done it too if you were her she’s probably handling things better than you would in her shoes

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

This was filmed at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which rescues, rehabilitates, and releases orphaned elephants in Kenya (among other conservation efforts). Charity Navigator has given it a 4/4 star rating, and you can make donations here or “adopt” a baby elephant here.

She... she does

Never have I seen the perfect application of two memes back to back so that both can stand without any alteration but the lack of words itself. This is a work of art. I would call this meme poetry.

Friends with benefits. And those benefits? Long insightful conversations about The Characters™️

I often think about how loneliness is a more powerful emotion in theatre because you’re in a room full of people who all powerless to do anything but watch and I saw Eva Noblezada as Eurydice in Hadestown the other day and I cannot get her guttural “is anybody listening” out of my mind, she was screaming for someone to listen and you’re sat there mere metres away unable to let her know that you are, that her story is being told and she matters, so many people are listening but she doesn’t know that

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

it’s not ‘talking to myself’ it’s called a soliloquy you fuck