The Lightning-Speed Waltz

When you try to talk about enshittification, it sounds like conspiracy theories. (I'm not crazy)

My supervillain origin story is that someone at Betty Crocker did The Science and figured out exactly how much smaller they could make the bag of cake mix before 1. they had to change the recipe, and 2. they had to change the box. The answer was two cupcakes. The mix now makes 22 cupcakes, instead of two dozen. The woman who caught them was a professional baker who uses cake mixes as a base, and it was throwing off her volumes enough that she was burning cakes.

I am curious: what do you think made all the Madoka fans want to punt Kyubey? Like, do you have any predictions on what’s gonna happen later in the series?

I just had an argument with someone who was like “why would we settle for food stamps when we could have universal basic income?”

People get pissed at me for being a pragmatist in my political ideals but I’ve been in the position where I was out of food right now.

incredibly bizarre and confusing seeing ppl call themselves "chuds" all the sudden b/c like

im hoping this is a case of "younger folks on the internet adopting Silly Word b/c its Silly and not realizing it actually means something"

let me be agonizingly clear

Or a Canniballistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. It’s been slang for ‘loser’ since the 80s. It’s the “it means nazi” thing that is new.

Master post of my absolute favorite gifs of all time:

Here are some more

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.