The Lightning-Speed Waltz

These wonderful people have a single braincell to share but unfortunately none of them are using it

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

Hell yeah

it’s true strawberry squid are pretty awesome

And every summer I get reminded that we have only a single choice if we want to survive

trying to get the funny medieval peasants to try my future dorito and accidentally stumbling onto the communal fencepost hosting one of many rural german cat-mutilating games that will later be a wedge in relations between the urban and agricultural communities, shocking me into a months-long silence

That isn’t very cool ranch of them.

NOOOOOO OH MY GOD LMAO

That is a new level of containment breach

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