Inner Solace

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

my professor literally told us to think of all the “ἤ̂ δ᾽ ὅς”es in the Symposium as “so then he was like”

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

I’m confused, what is left…

Oh nvm lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right

You really forgot your whole brain.

she read this post with her pussy

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

Lmao op lives in the south. The tap water up here is from fucking springs. It's so clean and fresh and has no stalagmites whatsoever. Cope and seethe southerner

My bones are so strong from all the chalk I've been drinking that I could mull you into a fine paste

You guys are like a two hour drive from each other

I briefly forgot there were normal humans named Elijah and wondered why this person thought they were getting messages from Actual Prophet and Messiah-Herald Elijah the Tishbite.

….yeah me too.

Me three.

Imagine getting visions of someone else’s holy prophet and having to text your friends like “….what am I supposed to do with that?”

“hey he’s back did you study this”

Getting a message from a prophet telling you to do things and instead texting your friends “wtf is this?” is very, very Jewish.

I’m over here laughing at the concept of Elijah announcing the Messiah over facebook. Posts to his wall and calls it a day.

@copperbadge

NGL every time this post pings my radar all I can think about is the absolute chaos that would have ensued if the Mishnah had initially been posted to Facebook and all the Talmudic discourse happened in the comments. 

outta my way, straight boy

I love predictions of the future that oscillate between "eerily prescient" and "what the hell are you talking about?" Like that description of the year 2,000 written in 1933 where the author predicts flatscreen television, the glass wall trend in the homes of the wealthy, and the obsolescence of stuffed mattresses, but is also convinced that normal showers will be replaced by a device called the VAPOR LANCE that VAPORIZES the DIRT on you

Sometimes Apollo hits writers with prophecy and sometime it’s Hephaestus trying to make a pitch for his new product

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

“We dressed up as the book Madeline, with six people dressed up as her and me as Ms. Clavel, their teacher. One of the Madelines, however, was the truly special one…the one with the beard, that is. Our experience was hysterical—I’d walk all the girls (and one guy) down the street in two straight lines. Guys would be walking the other way, whistling or hollering at all the pretty ladies. Then, as they got to the back of the line, they’d see my friend Brennan, then they’d see me, and I could tell that they were suddenly wondering if ALL the Madelines were men.”

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

im having feelings about the uffington white horse again

Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you’re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They’re throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn’t seem to mind.

okay so someone please write the story of the family of super-low-key holy warriors who have made it their mission to locate the antichrist in every generation (because when one gets spoiled they try AGAIN) and adopt them and love them into not being the antichrist anymore, thus perpetually delaying the apocalypse

delaying the apocalypse via good parenting I love this

I would love to read this

Just hear those slay bells jingling.