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opiates

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

junk-thunder

me: ok ok sorry, i promise i'll stop coming up with weird euphemisms for hitting the weed pen

me 5 minutes later: yall mind if i go ruin christmas?

stealingpotatoes

discovered that a plus side of working on a desktop is i can see what i'm drawing. a downside of working on a desktop is that i can see what i'm drawing

thememedaddy

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runwaytxt

ain't no way god told noah to put two bisexual white boys in their thirties who do improv on that boat

#is Brennan Lee Mulligan bisexual?#I’d like to imagine even if not he’s put dick in his mouth for The Bit because he loves committing to the bit

nanapup

this is gospel to me

actionpainting-deactivated20231

my nephews lunch that he packed

rnelodyy

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of Pepsi.]

puppygirllaika

that's arugula

ceo-of-lesbians

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of arugula]

dontbelasagnax

Mentioned to my mom I'm asexual a couple months ago and today.... we got into the car and she hit me with, "So you use they/them pronouns now?"

I went, "What. no. she/her."

"How does that work? With she/her/hers and they/them?"

I stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Well you came out as-" and I said, "I'm asexual."

She replied, "Like an amoeba, I know."

"Oh. My god. No. Mom. It doesn't- it's not the asexual you learned about in biology. I didn't come out as a single celled organism."

With heavy relief, she said "Oh, it has a different meaning?"

"Yes, mom."

savetheworldkissaplushie

iapislazuli

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people”

iapislazuli

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

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lichgirlboobs

she can't be pregnant we've been fucking on a pullout bed

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

Valley of Fire, Nevada, USA

segamascott

dragon-in-a-fez

#places to take me on a first date

homeboygirl

call me breakfast burrito the way i fuck at any hour of the day

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

my-dailydreams

i-draws-dinosaurs

This picture is NOT CUTE

they are making her use Window 8. unimaginably cruel

cachyos-official

All my doubters become routers when I admin the network of success

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