Yeehaw

this is my favorite comic ever i never don’t want to see it on my dash

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name

for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!

Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm

the oral fixation girl would like to kiss you for the whole day

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

even if jk rowling wasn’t a bigoted jackass i think i would not associate with harry potter just because of how over-the-top embarrassing the fandom is

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

agnostic deltarune player: no one knows why the power menu says that

nobody knows why authors use symbolism and implication in their stories it's literally never been studied

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

pick up the habit of kissing your girls hands again. hand kisses are so underrated but such a sweet intimate thing.