Life's a bitch

James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*  

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.  

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me: format?

New girl: yeah what do I do?

Me: you… put the usb in. Then you make a new folder on it and rename it with (name, date, location)

New girl: but how do I do that?

There’s a lot of assumed technical literacy because we had a whole generation brought up on desktop computers, but now it’s one that was brought up on phones, tablets, and chromebooks. Phones are easier to use, but that means the users have never had to work around the daily problems presented by most desktop environments.

Much of the back-end architecture will soon be more difficult to maintain, as those with the expertise retire or when the one guy volunteering to update a niche corner of some minute software function that holds up ¼ of the computer world dies.

While products are made to be “easier to use” now, which has made them more accessible, they aren’t made to last, contributing to tech pollution / e-waste. Many consumers don’t know how to upgrade or repair their own tech…if they are upgradeable.

Which brings me to my next point.

I bought a new low end laptop recently. Not chrome book, but actual Windows PC laptop. I haven’t had a personal computer for a while and with a lot of expectation to “return to the office” because COVID’s over, right? *heavy eye roll*, I wanted something cheap and portable. I found a deal because a lot of low end laptops are being discounted because school children aren’t remote now. I was actually looking for refurbished but found what I wanted cheaper new, sadly.

Finding one that I knew would run the software I needed or that wouldn’t be bogged down just with Windows? A challenge. You’ve got to know what RAM, HDD vs eMMC vs SSD, cores, age of processors, and all those specs mean.

Finding one that wasn’t Windows in “S mode,” a bullshit mode that locks you into the Windows app / store for ALL software (where they take a cut of each purchase)? Even more challenging.

When I booted it up…I imagine most people just click yes through things because why not, just want to get right to it, right?

The amount of privileges I had to decline because of targeted data collection, for ad preferences and other nefarious reasons; the number of easy-to-miss “no thanks” options to decline enrollment in bloatware; the number of things that wanted me to launch the free trial, where they could automatically enroll me into a monthly PAID subscription and could report failure to add a credit card to pay for it to credit agencies (!); many of these presented as the “recommended” or default option… ASTOUNDING.

And then I still had to go into system settings and turn off additional data tracking that they didn’t even present during set-up, along with bloatware bullshit programs they wanted to always run at start-up. Because I knew where to go and find that stuff. Don’t even get me starting on fucking Cortana.

Technology has gotten bad. Even 10 years ago, it was a couple simple agreements not to pirate, using software at your own risk, etc. and that was it.

Now? Waiving rights, arbitration, hidden terms that could leave you owing money if you don’t uninstall it, data collection to link accounts and literally track every move / your exact location / your usage, attempts to personalize ads through your specific searches, inability to block cookies unless you download a Google app!?, four pop ups for every website, as the default?

It is scary how much tech that was designed to increase productivity and make life easier has become yet another way for corporations to track us, sell to us, and sell their data on us, even potentially incriminating us.

Oh, and heaven forbid you know what you’re doing and try to upgrade or repair your equipment yourself. Warranty voiding? Should be illegal, may be illegal in some areas, but they still tell you it’ll void your warranty. Good luck finding the parts. Using non-OEM parts will void the warranty too…by design.

Windows Vista era to

deal with this bullshit.

General basic safety

How to avoid ransomware, malware, hacks, and how to maintain good data privacy.

https://www.getsafeonline.org/

^ this has intermediate information (as well as beginner info) that I think people who grew up on the internet benefit most from (so it won’t tell you what a phone is, or how to press the power button to turn on a computer). I recommend all sections the personal section under the top drop down (except the one aimed at children).

https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/internetsafety/

Same deal as above, with quizzes and additional topics.

https://www.digitalliteracyassessment.org/

^ this one is mostly video and audio which some people might helpful

HTML

https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp

W3schools is a well known free resource for coding. I recommend HTML because it gives basic website building capabilities, so you can create a neocities website for example or even edit your Tumblr theme. You can also learn CSS (used with HTML to make prettier websites) and Python (used to make programs).

Touch typing

Touch typing is using the home row on keyboards. It allows people to type faster than pressing individual keys one at a time, like on a smart phone.

https://www.typingclub.com/

This site has lessons, and honestly looks much nicer than the program I learned to use touch typing with.

https://www.how-to-type.com/touch-typing-lessons/how-to-type-home-keys/

This site has lessons and practice tests and speed tests to measure progress. In middle school I was taking a practice test about three times a week and a speed test once a week for about fifteen minutes each time, if that helps.

—

These three areas are the main things people were taught in computer literacy courses.

I also recommend checking your local library or other educational resources (like local colleges, your current college/highschool/middle school etc, the college you graduated from). These can have in person instructors which can be super helpful. Feel free to send me any questions and stuff, if I don’t already know I’ll try to find out and share where I found it!

Helpful things I’ve done with my windows computer to make it safer/more efficient:

Installing Malwarebytes/enabling windows defender

Creating a backup of my computer on a hard drive

Setting permissions for apps to start on startup

Getting a password manager

Installing a web browser that isn’t chrome

Changing old passwords into better, more secure passwords- especially websites that have debit card info

matthew, who’s known dream for maybe 3 hours: