dandy gentledyke; mister museum

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

google how to explain to my coworkers that criminals aren’t real and were just made up by Big Prison to sell more racism

Primadonna worm all i ever wanted was to squirm

remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse

“i love how we as a fandom have just agreed that–” don’t include me in this. do NOT lump me in with that.

do you think maize views turning into popcorn as death or transformation or some other third thing

it's not too late to start thinking about corn societal structures

my knight dismissed me as his squire for shrieking “DIVA DOWN!” when he was unhorsed on the battlefield