*Aggressively Eats Fern*

tuesday is practice for wednesday

when i was a teenager i broke things off with a guy and he was like but i wanted to take you camping and i was like i know that's why i'm breaking up with you...

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

I cannot emphasize enough how exactly accurate this is to working in production

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

they are awarding me an honorary doctorate for my work on tumblr.com

Freaky Ted is living up to his name.

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE