*Aggressively Eats Fern*

i am like the breadloser of the family

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.

and on the pedestal these words appear: "i am Ozymandias, King of Kings. look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair." nothing beside remains.

Humans are one of the best vocal mimics on the planet, and second-best of all simians, coming second only to hobbits. One of those little shits can perfectly mimic the sound of your fridge having a spontaneous catastrophic breakdown, and no amount of close personal inspection will fully reassure you that it isn't actually broken. And then you get back to the living room and that fur-footed little cunt is sitting right there on your couch, in your spot.

what should I listen to

women

first name PLACE last name HOLDER / parents didn't NAME ME till I got OLDER

hate when people say something along the lines of "we must get along so well because you are/i am [some astrological sign]" to me. what are you fucking talking about. we get along because im fucking nice. a decision which i regret when you say shit like that

this post is a good rent lowering gunshot. in case anyone needs one of those

last night ofc i emptied the tub and turned it upside down. today someone asked "hey do you know what's going on outside the barn? what that's about?" i said, "my bath?" and they said never mind.