*Aggressively Eats Fern*

We really went from "free the nipple" to "um the public didn't consent to you wearing a choker"

At night before bed let's all brush our teeth it will be epic

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

no your honor I absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly,

lmfao I just saw zohran doing the inaugural swim in a full suit and tie, the schtick genuinely gets funnier the more he does it. My only complaint is should have worn swim trunks OVER the suit

"I bet it's so easy to be a cat and not have to worry about work or school!" Well THINK AGAIN. Kitties are so little that they can't even get their own ice cream out of the freezer. Their paws are too Small.

what no that can't be true

[image ID: photo of a kitten staring wide eyed at the viewer. Its tiny front paw has been circled in red with an arrow pointing to it/end image ID]

that's a cat ✅️