I DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY

“God is dead” -Zendaya

Zendaya is Nietzsche???

made my bath too slippery and did a barrel roll trying to get out of the tub

tell them what you did in the other bathtub

made my bath too full and beautiful and luxurious and flooded the bathroom and hallway with approximately five to six gallons of soapy water after i sat my ass in it 😔

failed to mention that this was at our free hotel with a huuuuge garden bathtub. i heard *plop* "i fucked up" got up and came running only to see a river running under the door

taking a bath is NOT like riding a bike! at all!

if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version

the main issue with problems is how bad they suck. but what if there was a app that let you bet on child surgeries

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

I swear this is how I feel every time I see a Tumblr screenshot out in the wild

"the best laid plans" "i'm hatching a plan" so a plan is a type of egg ? 🥚

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

Have you ever seen someone eat a kitkat by scraping all the chocolate off the wafer with their front teeth? Just one long satisfying scraaaape. Well. That’s what I’m doing to the teflon on these pans