I DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY

don't let being born a girl stop you from being the man your father never was

The older I get, the stayer I home.

Writing prompt? No. Writing much delayed.

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

driving my chevy to the levee today

what the fuck

when you have a hammer everything looks like a guy you could kill with a hammer

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

I want everyone to see this section of a mostly unredacted judgement I’ve been reading. Mostly it’s fine, but occasionally they have to X out a word or a profit margin or something. But then I encountered paragraph of the year.

the four horsemen if the apocalypse was chill

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

Upon hearing this, the student became enlightened.