𐌃𐌄𐌂Ꝋ𐌍𐌕𐌄𐋄𐌕𐌉𐌅𐌉𐌄𐌓

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

@brainsforbabyjesus

OH HOW I LOVE THIS POST. It makes me so much happier about being alive. I AM BURNING VERY SLOWLY. *hugs it*

And once again, the internet makes learning history and science a thousand times more interesting than school ever did.

I love shit like this.

I was totally having thoughts along these lines and along comes tumblr to pretty much sum it all up. Bravo~

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Recycled tumblr humor

10k notes

pun

pun repeated in italics

“did you just” added

supernatural gif that fits even though the post was nowhere near related to spn

comment expressing disbelief on how Supernatural has a gif for everything

Comment expressing their uttermost love for Tumblr

comment expressing utter hate for posts like these

Comment that OMG IT’S THE ORIGINAL I’VE ONLY SEEN IT IN SCREENSHOTS

Someone saying this post is a must reblog

someone mentioning the ops are all deactivated

The @hellsite-hall-of-fame reblog

Happy 10 years to this post

Original poster deactivated 12’th of June 2014

sentence with the right number of syllables for the haiku bot worm

I want you guys to all start making a bigger stink about Tumblr's Age Verification Horseshit.

fwiw, i wouldn't be surprised to learn that the tech companies had an active hand in lobbying for this...and they probably have investments in the data brokerage companies that will ultimately sell data from the "leaks". they won't say it out right, but that's what they want, control over you and intel on you

Health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don’t realize they’re addicted to something until they’re years deep into it.

Lesbians

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

Iconic post

the foreboding sense of doom? oh yeah i know that one. just double check you have your wallet, keys and some chapstick, works every time

was expecting to reblog this with a tongue-in-cheek reply to the many people saying "this didn't fix me :(" but somehow not a single person in the notes is disagreeing. everyone's just nodding their heads thoughtfully bc yeah that's how you deal with the Foreboding Sense Of Doom, that's good protocol

Do the Doorway Macarena: pat yourself down repeatedly to the tune of your panicking soul.

DOORWAY MACARENA

Cannot not reblog.

boy am i glad this has so many notes

reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time

I love this post!

A good post

the day I do not reblog this is the day I’m buried six feet under

I like that people included male rape victims as well! This is a good post

always always reblog

This is amazing as a two time survivor it’s fucking time to hear this shit debunked! Hate has no place!

Can not not reblog. 

@real-british-empire artifact ?

moral of the story: don’t try to defend rapist or you will get fucking obliterated

i have nothing to add except the fact there are some reasons why i erased my instagram

Well.. I uhhh... I mean... You're not.... wrong........ Haha....

I'm going to stab you with your own arm.

Jesus

I bet those two are couple now..

I’m gay

me too

This is such a great story

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

hot women in your area.

Hot enbies in your area

hot men in your area

hot organisms in your area

hot atoms in your area

yes I am!

eggs in your area. Beware.

EGGGGGGGGGSSSSSS!!!

w h a t h a v e y o u d o n e

Why the fuck are you here

because there's eggs in the area

You should have thought about that before you brought EGGS IN THE AREAAA(and hot women).

No threat of that in this reblog chain so rest easy.

hot women in your area.

Hot enbies in your area

hot men in your area

hot organisms in your area

hot atoms in your area

yes I am!

eggs in your area. Beware.

EGGGGGGGGGSSSSSS!!!

w h a t h a v e y o u d o n e

Why the fuck are you here

because there's eggs in the area

You should have thought about that before you brought EGGS IN THE AREAAA(and hot women).

No threat of that in this reblog chain so rest easy.