a clusterfuck

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

forgive yourself. whether you fail a test, eat too many cookies, say the wrong thing, fail a class, or spend a whole day in bed — learn to forgive yourself. the next day will be better. the next day will be a day closer to your next success. you can do it.

Remember when Tumblr just invented a Greek god

That’s one of the most greek god mythology things I’ve ever heard and based on that she’s to be treated as new to the roster.

Hades: I’ve only had Mesperyian for a year and a half but if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone on Earth and then myself

You either die with a bachelors degree or you stay in college long enough to watch yourself become the villain.

animals and babies can communicate. 100%

Siamese cats are very social and love to talk (to the point they tend to talk a lot if their human friends are on the phone), it probably brought the balloon down so they can both play together, hence chasing the thread at the end. ;3;

What a good kitty <3

his big brag for this one was he “paid for all the food himself” because the white house cooks are furloughed (because of him you know) but are you telling me that this dude who is supposedly a billionaire couldnt afford to pay a few chefs for the night? my dude that is fucked 

Is The Onion still in business because the world is one major shitpost already. What are they gonna do? Write real news?

Why can’t I stop watching this

I swear to god I’ve watched this like fifty times and I can’t stop laughing

He l p m e

I forgot I reblogged this to my main and I’m dYING

That’s not that bi-hoLY SHIT

i was a hopeful one for 2k19 until yall told me theyre turning a one direction wattpad fic into a movie so. guess its another three hundred days of hell ahead

They’re doing what

Remember there’s a reason no one ever says “Fuck the firefighters!”

I mean they do it’s just usually prefaced with “Can I please”

Yknow when you let someone use one of your Good Pens™️ and theyre like “this is a really good pen” like 👀👌🏾i know and im watching u bicth

oOH MY GOD

I too want to live in the kitchen cabinet and only come out when I hear the fridge open

I’m pretty sure that the women in the background of the third picture are looking at a “lewd” painting. They were sometimes kept by upper class homes in the 1800s. They were kept hidden behind a curtain and only viewed for *ahem* “recreational purposes”. So basically, those ladies are looking at porn while their friend blithely humours Bouffant McShinypants.

This looks like the same group of ladies who are constantly chilling laughing at men I love it

does no one realize that robin hood was a terrible role model for young kids? i mean you are stealing from people (illegal) and those people (usually) worked hard to get their wealth. it really demotivates people to succeed when they know they can get something someone else worked for.

is this what rich people worry about lmao

who knew the sheriff of nottingham had a blog

How does someone read Robin Hood and miss the part where it’s set in feudal England. He stole from people who got their wealth by exploiting the poor, incidentally that’s all rich people to this very day.

Tune in next week when they tell you the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge, a benevolent job creator, harassed during his sleeping hours by the hellish socialist dead.